A Justaminutemen Manifesto

1.

The dumping of Donald Trump’s good name has become a major growth industry today.

At first I was amused when NBC told the esteemed host of his own reality show, “You’re fired.” I gave it four white feathers, enshrining the act in the annals of TV network cowardice, since the show’s shelf life expired five years ago.

Then the network cowards pulled out of his “Miss Universe” and “Miss USA.” No great loss, either. They made “The Miss America Pageant” seem like great art.

Macy’s joined the rush to disassociate. NASCAR, Serta, the mattress people, and ESPN followed Univision and Televisa in saying we’re going to wash that man out of our hair.

And now the latest to say “No Way, Jose” to The Donald this week is the PGA. Severing relations not only hits him where his heart is --in the pocket --but is a repudiation of his core values.

Golf is the national pastime of the rich. And Trump is the first candidate ever to courageously use as a campaign slogan: “Vote for me. I am rich.”

In ending the partnership with the PGA, the champion of the rich chose to be noble, saying he didn’t want differences of opinion having any consequences for the reputation of golfdom’s leadership.

That’s sacrifice for you. Trying not to hurt professional golf, since it’s the game of the elite few and Trump enjoys charging golfers a customary $347 fee for 18 holes on any of the score or more courses he has been buying up as if they were going out of stock! If you can’t afford the fees, his theory is, don’t play golf. Take up road running, skipping rocks across a lake, or even miniature golf.

2.

What’s going on here with this outbreak of Trumpophobia, we of the Justaminutemen want to know?

Why is Corporate America suddenly treating Trump as if he is a contagious disease?

Is it because he is making a mockery of our sacred electoral process by running for president every four years? You can’t make a mockery of what is already a mockery with 18 candidates –at last count-- running for the Republican nomination in 2016.

And what is the crime for which Trump is paying the price? He spoke his mind, such as it is. It’s the sort of thing that may have come off the top of his hairpiece, which is some distance from the brain. I won’t repeat the nonsense in detail; suffice it to say his theory is that the only good Mexican is a deported Mexican. Not only did he go out on the limb with his program for handling Latin-American affairs if elected, but also he sawed it off by doubling down.

Does anybody besides we Justaminutemen see anything wrong or un-American at the economic pressure being meted out to presidential candidate Trump for his idiotic ideas?

3.

Now I realize the man is a total idiot, not in the literary or philosophical sense of Dostoyevsky’s idiot. But a real idiot. I myself have been called an idiot for nominating him the honorary post as America’s Idiot, ignoring others in my Republican Party for their work in the field. Pastor Huckleberry, for example, is right up there in Idiotland. Perry, Jindahl, and Ben Carson deserve serious consideration. Trump’s idiocy, so to speak, trumps all.

While the founding fathers did not specifically have idiots in mind when writing the Bill of Rights, they are entitled the right to be an idiot under the free speech amendment.

It’s also true that Trump’s idiocy may be more of a danger to the Republic because of his large following. He has a great occult power, the ability to mesmerize, possibly from staring at his hair on TV.

I don’t want to alarm anybody, but if thwarted again in 2016 Trump might even start a third party, the American Idiot Party (AIP), which would appeal to the overlooked minority. All the folks who get their political news from television, mainly Sean Hannity and the Fox Channel, those who believe in patriotism God, guns and grits, religion, marital status, sexuality and the gold standard.

4.

Especially disturbing is the way other candidates are treating the abuse of their fellow contender by Corporate America. Don’t they realize they are empowering those lovers of democracy, the captains and lieutenants of industry, to affect elections? Rick Santorum, for example, could be exorcised for sounding more and more like that commie from Vermont with all Rick’s rhetoric about the need to raise the minimum wage. Corporations are like the rats leaving a sinking ship.

The consensuses of the collective wisdom in how to deal with the injustice of Trumpismo is shut the fuck up and go play golf. They sure don’t want El Donald in the debates, which they know is the next Trump reality TV show.

All in all, the rise of Trumpophobia is a sad chapter in the otherwise saddest 2016 race for the roses.

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Marvin Kitman
Bugler, Justaminutemen
July 9, 2015

The writer ran for president in the Republican primaries of 1964. He lost.

 Creative Commons Licensed Photo "Donald Trump Sr. at #FITN in Nashua, NH" by Flickr user Michael Vadon