What He Did on His Summer Vacation

We the people of the great state of New Jersey are honored that the president has chosen to spend his 17-day vacation at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster.

We realize that he is always being criticized for spending so many weekends at his resorts in Florida and Virginia. In his first six months in office, almost every weekend, coincidentally, he visited a Trump-owned commercial property, which some said was tantamount to a free infomercial for the Trump brand.

There are those who also say his “vacation” in Bedminster this time is a cover up for his checking into a rehab facility (mental institution).

So what if it is a marketing blitz for his golf club! We like to think we are lucky to have him.

Why, he could have picked Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach or Russia. Pres. Putin would have been happy to lend him the summer imperial presidential dacha & golf course on the Black Sea, fit for a super czar like him.

Especially after the president thanked his best bud Putin for making us axe 750 employees in our embassy in Moscow. It helped cut the payroll, as he explained.

Of course, not all of us are thrilled by the vacation visit. There are those who are unhappy because they can’t land their planes at the nearest airport (Morristown Municipal). Air Force One is parked on the runway like a beached whale in case the president wants to go out for a spin to Manhattan or savor the cuisine of New Jersey.

Not only is New Jersey the only state that has as its governor Chris Christie—who has managed to achieve the lowest approval gubernatorial favorability ratings in history, at least partly due to his friendship with the president-- it’s also the fast food capital of the nation.

Enroute to his victories as two timing governor, he pledged to dine in every fast food franchise on Route 22 between Newark and Phillipsburg in Lopatcong, and he more than fulfilled that promise. Taking the Chris Christie Gourmet Tour, in between exercising in the official presidential golfmobile, may be the reason the president’s jackets are never buttoned.

We also like to think the president chose New Jersey for a breath of fresh air.

With a clear head in the New Jersey environment, the president has been able to deal with issues that have befuddled his predecessors.

His secret diplomacy skills are legendary, by his own admission, but largely absent since pre-occupation denying “that Russian thing“ and other hoaxes manufactured by the fake news.

It is in New Jersey, future historians will note, that the president was able to roll up his sleeves and deal with the North Korea missile crisis thing.

His secret diplomatic tool turned out to be a sledgehammer.

So what if his willingness to get tough with that ”total nut job,” as he called the North Korea president during the campaign, in his historic “fire an fury” tirade might lead to a nuclear attack on Guam.

It would be good for tourism, as he suggested to the governor of Guam. He saw a flood of tourists who might want to experience the threat of incineration at the epicenter of the coming nuke holocaust.

As Guam goes, the Trump Doctrine might suggest, so goes Wake Island and American Samoa.

At this point, it’s speculation but the fine points of the Trump Doctrine may have been hammered out in consultation with his host, former transition head, Chris Christie. If he was president, our boy might have said to Pres. Kim, “Shut the hell up, and go get a hair cut.”

Having said all of this, I still wish the president would be vacationing in the DMZ.

At the risk of sounding un-American, I worry about bellicose nuke rattling. North Korean missile technology is still in the back-to-the-drawing-board stage. Aiming at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster in Somerset County, they might land in my backyard in Bergen County, an acceptable error of 23 miles. Call me unpatriotic, but I have just finished paying for replacing our gutters.

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Anon.
August 15, 2017