YA VIENEN LOS HONDUREÑOS!
YA VIENEN LOS HONDUREÑOS! *
(* THE HONDURANS ARE COMING! THE HONDURANS ARE COMING!)
Patriots, concerned citizens, fellow Justaminutemen,
In October, we were warned about an invasion.
A caravan of mucho Hondurans and others from our formerly Good Neighbor Republics down south of the Rio Grande was spotted on a march to our wall-less border.
They included “MEN,” our commander-in-chief explained about what he called “a threat to our national security.” Some of them even may have been “Middle Eastern terrorists.”
The herd also included women, some of whom might be pregnant, whose only interest was off-loading their unborn on our sleeping country, so they could grow up be welfare cheats and scroungers who wanted to live off the fat of our land—at least until our vigilant Republican legislators finish their work of eliminating those examples of government over-reach (food stamps), so they could reduce the deficit, growing by trillions since the tax cut for the rich.
All of which is being funded by George Soros, the Democrat zillionaire who is importing the huddled masses to cast their illegal ballots in fraudulent elections.
The las masas amontonadas were claiming they were making the arduous journey from their native countries, mostly on foot, because of death threats, gang violence, sexual abuse, poverty, starvation, the usual lame excuses.
No way, Jose! our commander-in-chief said, in effect. A country built on the suffering, deprivation and the lack of economic opportunity of our forefathers who came from foreign lands, including the commander-in-chief’s immigrant grandparents, here from “Sweden” (as he claimed in his autobiography, another word for “Germany”) could no longer tolerate any more of these illegal voters.
When the barrage of Twitterese didn’t stop the wretched refuse, the commander-in-chief called out the troops, 5,800 at first to the border war zone, with up to 15,000 on the way.
These were not the usual National Guard troops, those poor souls, many of whom had already five or six deployments in the Hundred Year Wars (Afghanistan), but regular Army soldiers, who thought they were going home for Thanksgiving and Xmas.
Our boys would stop this guerrilla invasion seeking to undermine the American way of life, stealing less than minimum wage jobs as fruit pickers and leaf blowers we los Americanos find beneath our dignity.
Our commander-in-chief had strapped on his metaphorical sword and MAGA campaign hat, mounted his golf cart, and was going to war to stop this invasion –or his name wasn’t Donald the Brave!
And what a beautiful war it was going to be! The world’s mightiest military power versus the oppressed people (yearning to be free), whose numbers kept varying, depending on foot blisters, poor nutrition, and inadequate protection from the elements.
After all, we hadn’t won a war since Grenada!
Suddenly, on Nov. 5, 2018, the day before Election Day, the bugles stopped blowing. The invasion disappeared from the Official Twitter Page and el presidente’s lips.
The silence was deafening for us Justaminutemen, who were as fired up as the base about the menace of these gringo illegal voters.
What had happened?
Had the los Houndureños hordes stopped coming? Had the caravan taken a right turn and decided to go to Cancun and Cozumel, where the beaches and hotel accommodations were said to be superior to Tijuana?
Had the commander-in-chief been mistaken, that is lying about the threat to our borders and national security?
Next question, please.
Was he a coward?
Don’t be so fast to award him the four white feathers, despite his bone spurs that kept him out of Vietnam. As “The Coward’s Almanac, or the Yellow Pages,” edited by Marvin Kitman, notes, the old American maxim says: “He who runs away, lives to fight another day.”
Was it a coincidence, the Justaminutemen are wondering, that the threat to our national security seemed to end immediately before Election Day?
Was the president using the military as a political weapon?
Will the regulars of the standing army be called out before every crucial primary in the 2020 election?
Had we become like some banana republic or Third World shit hole country where the leader uses troops for personal political gain?
Does our president understand the military is not his military, tin soldiers to be moved around like some tin pot fake tyrant president?
Will the military be used to lock up Hillary to make everybody in the base happy by 2020?
We better stop all this before we lose our appetite.
We of the Justaminutemen wish you a merry Thanksgiving Day.
NEXT: WOULD YOU WANT TO GO INTO BATTLE LED BY OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF?
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Marvin Kitman,
November 22, 2018