GWB Name Change Petition

As the only living co-author of Gen. Washington (“George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington & Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.)), it behooves me to say I am appalled by the continuing use of the term “George Washington Bridge” in the investigation of partisan lane closings in the Bridgegate scandal. It is dragging the general’s good name through the mud of New Jersey politics.

It was bad enough when the younger generation associated the name “Washington” only with white sales or new car deals every February. But now every day and night in the media the bridge’s prominence in the Christie scandelfest grows, as it is linked with politicized traffic jams, crony appointments and other nefarious acts. This desecration must stop.

Therefore I am calling on all true patriots to join me in a petition drive to have his name removed from the bridge.

There is no record of the general having given written or oral permission for the edifice to be called the “George Washington Bridge.” No royalty payments are received, or have ever been received. Despite the escalating toll –based on the current Port Authority secret formula: whatever the traffic will bear—not a farthing goes to the Father of His Country’s escrow account. This is adding financial injury to insult of his name being a symbol of corruption.

Fortunately, some citizens believe GWB stands for George W. Bush. But that only happens in the politically astute demographic who still remember Dubbayou.

There are those who say such action is not needed, especially as the scandal is called Bridgegate, and not GW Bridgegate or Washingtongate or Georgegate. But now is not the time for sunshine patriots.

And its bound to get worse with the results of the 38 subpoenas still to come, and the real estate gang running the Port Authority taking the fifth, the fourth, the fourteenth and the A-Train will add to the besmirchment.

In the absence of a binding agreement between the namee and the Port Authority of New Jersey & New York, no basis for litigation could be expected should his name be dropped from the span.

Like caterpillars turn into butterflies, there is a tradition of bridgemorphis. In the New York metropolitan area alone, The Triboro emerged as The RFK Jr. The Queensboro is now the Ed (How’m I doing?) Koch.

Why can’t we change the name to The George Washington Carver Bridge? It would require little or no expensive change in signage, which could only lead to more scandal in awarding the contract for redoing all the signs. And it’s about time the inventor of the peanut got some recognition, like a bridge being named after him.

Or the so-called “George Washington Bridge” could be renamed after some local worthy citizen. The Arthur Imperatore Bridge would honor a man who improved the quality of life by launching a ferry service that reduced traffic on the old GWB.

Rather than raise the tolls to pay for the marble walls in the bathrooms at that white elephant Freedom Tower, why couldn’t the PA just sell the naming rights to its properties? Chase Manhattan Bridge has a geographically-correct sound to it.

Selling the naming rights to cultural institutions is a great American pastime, from Carnegie Hall to Citi Field. Corporate raiders are always thirsting and willing to pay for validation by public service, as Carl Icahn demonstrated by lending his slimy name to Randall’s Island Stadium.

And while we are at it, the PA might consider changing the name of its inexplicably named tunnels. That great tunnel to the South of Hoboken, the so-called “Holland Tunnel,” which doesn’t go anywhere near the Netherlands, is actually named after Clifford Milburn Holland, the chief engineer for the tunnel, which was one of the greatest engineering achievements of all time. The air exhaust system meets the needs of automobile traffic in 2014 as it did in 1920. But so what? More apt would be renaming it for the great Hudson County former leader, The Mayor Hague Tunnel.

First in war, first in peace, first to have his name taken off the world’s most famous bridge. Can I count on your support for this brave action? Can your name be added to this patriotic movement.

Your thoughts?

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2/27/14
Marvin Kitman,
PFC (Ret.)