I'm bringing all of this up now only to prove that there is hope for anybody in the new world of cyberspace. 

   It’s actually easy to get your own website. All you need is a few altruistic readers like Doc O'Shea of Mastic Beach, Brian Attridge of Port Jefferson Station, Glenn Schmid of North Babylon and an associate producer like Noelle Daidone to construct the site for you. 

   They took pity on me. They were all concerned that I was about to become road kill on the information highway unless I adapted to the 20th century 

   The big problem most webbies, or whatever they're called, face is what to put on the web site. “Content strategy” it's called. Most people have nothing important to say. This was no problem for me. 

   The famous Marvin Kitman website is not a vanity press operation, an ego trip. It's a working site, an integral arm of the interactive criticism pioneered at Newsday. It’s another easier way for readers to vent their spleen, get off the chest, what they hate and love about TV. 

   It's so much healthier than baying at the moon or shouting out the window like a nutsy Peter Finch about not wanting to take it anymore. At least you're heard (space permitting) you could be making an appearance on my show. (Those names you see in the column, incidentally, are all real people, as some have wondered). Vox populi is the bedrock on which this column is built. 

   The website will serve another expanded function, allowing greater participation in the Famous Marvin Kitman Ten Foot Polls. Over the years they have settled such pressing issues as “What do you hate most about Howard Cosell?”; “Who would you like to see naked on TV” And “Who Shot JR?” In the election of 1976, it asked who would you vote for in the presidential race between Ford, Carter and the Fonz. (it was a landslide for Arthur Fonzarelli ) 

   And then there is the opportunity to play an important role in the Kitman for Network President campaign. What, you didn't know about the only candidate running for the top office at all four major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox) at the same time-- in order to keep his options open? The website is the place where you can still jump on the Kitman for President steamroller as it roars out of the station enroute to LA). There are still a few positions open on the transition team. But be warned you will have to start out as a vice president, the lowliest job in my administration. 

On the website, there will be focus groups advising the candidate on key issues to be addressed in the first hundred days of the Kitman administration. 

   There will also be a chat group feature where from time to time I will be taking time off from my important work of watching TV and take questions from the audience. 

   One of the best new features is we have e-mail links for all the network chieftains on one of the reserved channels. So that you can bombard them in support of shows in need of saving, even before they go on the heart and lung machine. They will name a parking lot --the highest honor in LA-- after me for this alone, and nobody will use it 

   At any rate, this is my world of cybernet --and you're welcome to it! I'm ready for the 21st century. 

E-mail Marvin at:
  famousmarvin@aol.com
E-mail webmaster at: doctm@optonline.net or battridg@suffolk.lib.ny.us