How To Stop Trump

As preoccupied as they may be thinking about how to make America great again, or even greater, or whatever the reason for running for president, the 16 candidates and their staffs were burning the midnight oil, ordering in pizza, drinking gallons of hot coffee, popping no-doze pills by the gross, trying to figure out how to take on the presumptive president-elect Donald Trump in the debates, starting tomorrow night on Fox at 9.

I know how. But it creates a heavy moral, ethical, philosophical, metaphysical, geometrical and patriotic dilemma: Should I tell?

1.

Personally, and as a Republican, I don’t want to stop Trump. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have started to like Candidate Trump. Not that my suppressed latent true malignant affection for the Trumper already hasn’t been shining through this Viva Trumpismo series of essays.

Why should anybody not want a loudmouth-in chief like Trump in a political campaign, which he is turning into one for the record books, a tour de force which would have made Alexis de Tocqueville wish he was alive to include in his “Democracy in America” (1835)?

We needed somebody with the courage to call his worthy opponent from the great state of Texas, Rick Perry, an idiot. True, it takes one to know one. He also went on record telling us that the distinguished governor was wearing glasses to make him look smarter.

Who else would have the courage to out other members of the idiot wing of the Republican Party, including Sen. Lindsay Graham? Anyone who wanted to have an intelligent discussion with the senator from South Carolina about his qualifications could use the private cell phone number, supplied as a public service by DJT.

Who else would call Marco Rubio “over-rated,” Scott Walker’s record “a disaster”? Jeb Bush a guy who can’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag?

And who else would call his opponents &lquo;puppets” and government officials “stupid.”

I tell you, you couldn’t make up this kind of stuff. Not even Vonnegut or Terry Southern could write a more hilarious satirical portrait of one of our two leading political parties.

2.

The great thing about Trump if you missed one of his feats of oratory on one news show, he would repeat it on the next one. As they used to say when I was growing up, never run after a bus or a girl or a Trump zinger, there will be another one along in five minutes.

In short, DJT is the antithesis of your usual Republican presidential candidate, who tends to be less lively. Compare him to Mitt, who is remembered more as a glove than a presidential candidate. DJT is lively, provocative, the original motor-mouth, never at loss for words. He can conduct a filibuster without help. Asking him a question is like trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant

I better stop this before it sounds like a political speech. I will have to give the other 16 equal time.

3.

Whatever El Donald’s flaws –and that orange hair doesn’t do it for me — he is performing a valuable public service in this election cycle.

Let’s face it, 239 years after the revolution the American people are bored with politics. They have had enough of free speech and many of the other freedoms, except for the right to bear arms. Polls that change the language slightly find the majority do not favor the Bill of Rights, especially that business of taking the Fifth. If they aren’t guilty, why aren’t they speaking up? In a good election year, we are lucky if 60 % of eligible voters exercise the franchise.

And the most sacred right of all is the freedom to not listen to the boring debates. That’s why the showing of “Casablanca” on WPIX or other independent TV stations was invented.

When this charade is all over, Donald Trump will deserve a Congressional Medal of Honor for bringing the people into the tent. So what if he has turned 2016 into a Barnum & Bailey political circus, with Himself being the star attraction in the freak show that is now the Republican Party.

4.

All of this is why I am wrestling with my conscience about revealing how Donald Trump can be brought down from riding the biggest elephant in the first of the GOP’s six debate spectaculars at Cleveland.

Watch this space tomorrow for the results of the bout.

  

--
Marvin Kitman
August 5, 2015

The writer ran for president in the Republican primaries of 1964. He lost.

 Creative Commons Licensed Photo "Donald Trump Sr. at #FITN in Nashua, NH" by Flickr user Michael Vadon