Farewell.
How Will It All End?
Part I
Will he be impeached, incarcerated for violating the Logan Act by trading with the enemy, indicted for tax fraud, removed from office under the 25th amendment, do a Snowden and ask for asylum in the Russian embassy down the block or in Moscow? None of the above? All of the above?
For loyal Trump supporters, and all of us Republicans in the party of the rich people, regardless of race, creed or size of bank account, who worry the administration may not have time to fulfill its destiny to make everyone rich, so help us God…
And for all patriotic Americans who worry the Republic might fall under the leadership of the most inexperienced, unqualified, untrustworthy, untruthful, lying, stupid in our history…
These are heavy questions, a topic of intense debate about the President Magoo of our presidents. I will have some rhetorical answers in the two-part series, starting right now.
At the risk of sounding like an apologist, I have a few good words to say about a president who is first in golf courses and hotels, first in emoluments, first in lack of involvement with Russian money, as he self-proclaims, and no involvement with the truth.
First of all, what are all the worrywarts worried about, anyway?
He’s doing a great job. He told us that himself. As he was saying four score and seven minutes or so after the Inaugural, his administration is doing even better than FDR’s.
His first trip abroad was very successful. He didn’t grope Angela Merkel or any of the Arab prince’s many wives or girl friends.
Were you not proud the way he knocked those sheiks off their camels in Riyadh? Showing the flag, the face, and the hair-do, the 55 desert autocrats accepted our novice autocrat’s sincerity. Despite all those anti-Muslim tirades back home, they swallowed that Ich bin ein Saudi speech, calling for more sandals on the ground against the terrorists.
I tell you, throw a dishtowel over his head, and a bed spread from a Trump hotel suite over his shoulders, and he would fit right in with those other autocrats.
And weren’t you impressed the way he managed to sell those ragheads 110 billion dollars of fresh ammo to replace what the Saudi fly boys were wasting bombing the hell out of the hospitals, wedding parties and funerals in Yemen. What a dealmaker!
And don’t forget the sword dancing. He went where no president ever went before in cutting a rug with the sheiks of Araby, although he probably could have used a little more time at Arthur Murray’s.
And why is everybody’s knickers twisted about “that Russian thing,” the hoax the fake media is over-covering like it was another global warming charade. It’s another example of red- bating, as even The Nation magazine calls it.
These guys the administration is accused of being in bed with are not the old- fashioned Communists. As I’ve said before, they are kapitalists, crooked kapitalists, and the best kind. Putin and his fellow oligarchs are dedicated to the new improved Marxist-Leninist dialectic: Each according to his need, each according to his greed.
And I’m not the only one saying good things about the president.
His cabinet went on record the first week with those Selfies hailing him as the best president we have.
Admittedly, things have not gone as well as expected by the Trumpies doing the swamp-draining thing.
In control of the Executive branch, the Senate, the House, the Supreme Court, a cabinet filled with favorite billionaires and generals, and with a party platform that favors letting 23 millions lose their health insurance as the first order of business, nothing seemed to be getting done, except firing people and getting angry on Twitter.
It doesn’t matter that he was introducing so many revolutionary concepts in governance.
In diplomacy, for example, he is currently saying he is open for a summit meeting with Kim of North Korea, what leading Koreaologist, graduate of Korean War, Class of 1954, Richard Lingeman calls “a Hair Summit, between the two hirsute chiefs of state in their best hair shirts.” It’s part of his game plan for crafting a deal which will save the world from a nuclear Armageddon.
The wrinkle in the strategy is that every other day the president is dithering about the summit, which means it will be on every other day and he will change his mind on the off days. The other side never knows what our policy will be about saving the world.
The lack of progress in making America great again has not been a problem. The economy up, unemployment down, whatever caused by his predecessor he takes credit for. The Monroe Doctrine could well be one of his doings.
Despite all the achievements, a lot of my progressive leftist un –American friends still think his shelf life is expiring. President Magoo’s days are numbered.
How will he be schlonged? Impeachment, 25th amendment, Mueller’s investigations, indictment for tax fraud? Or will he become the commissar of real estate development in the Putin Politburo? How will “The Punch & Judy” show that is the Trump administration end?
I will be exploring the president’s options next.
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Marvin Kitman
September 4, 2017