How to Win the War in Afghanistan

The New Great Game

The president missed a great opportunity the other night (Aug 21, 2017) in his speech on national TV, delivering his long delayed with bugles blowing new approach to the Afghan War, now in its 16th year, the longest military operation in the nation’s history.

He could have announced we had won the war in Afghanistan –the first president to achieve that laudatory goal, which already has cost the nation more than a trillion in treasure and countless lives and trauma—is bringing our boys and gals home, thus fulfilling the candidate’s promise to end stupid wars. “No more wasting money —spend on infrastructure,” as he wrote on Twitter in 2013.

By “winning” he would have meant the way we won the war in Vietnam, as he seemed to imply during the speech, a war of which he once said his own personal Vietnam was avoiding sexually transmitted diseases in the Battle of Manhattan. With his war record as a draft dodger, he was no Ike or even Richard Nixon, but those with their heel spurs and four time deferments to study the art of deal making at Wharton, vital in the war against communism, also serve their country.

The truth is America hasn’t won a war since we beat Grenada during the Regan administration.

Of course, the claim that we won in Afghanistan—something the British said after the First Anglo-Afghan War (1839-1842) and the Second Anglo-Afghan War (1878-1880) and the Third Anglo-Afghan War of 1919—would have been a lie.

Nobody ever wins in Afghanistan, where foreign powers have been playing what is known as “The Great Game” for centuries. Not even the brilliant military scholar George W. and his dream team at CIA knew that.

But since when has the truth stopped the president from telling a lie?

In the first seven months of his administration, according to the scorekeepers at the Washington Post, he has made more than one thousand misleading public statements that were not true, otherwise known as lies. On average, about five per diem. And why would he stop now? You can’t argue with success.

We the lemmings of America elected a total nut job to lead us into a world filled with potholes and IED’s based on his ability to lie. His suddenly telling the truth about anything would create credibility chaos.

Lying to the folks at home about wars is a great American tradition. Remember during the Vietnam War how we were always winning? The body count numbers, the tonnage of bombs dropped on the jungle bike trails by our B-52’s (more on a single day than all of World War II)! For ten years Walter Cronkite was repeating the Pentagon line. And that’s the way it wasn’t! The light at the end of the tunnel, the generals were always seeing, turned out to be a train coming the other way.

Having established bragging rights as the man who won the war in Afghanistan, Field Marshal Trump could then turn his limited attention span to dealing with the real enemy, threatening to bring fire and fury with a nuke attack on our friends, the Pakistanis who continue to fund, arm, and train the Taliban.

Given his total ignorance of history, our von Clausewitz has been convinced by his generals who have studied at the General Westmoreland School of Military Science that escalation is the way to go in an area like the Middle East where they have been fighting for 5,000 years (check your Bible), with the added wrinkle of keeping the numbers secret.

Afghanistan is our Hundred Years War, and there are those who think that reopening the festering Afghan wound provides the House of Trump yet another distraction away from the multi- Congressional and Special Counsel investigations into “that Russian thing.”

The usual nit pickers and quick-to –find-faulters, the fact- checkers and truth freaks will be bombarding us with outrageous scandals about rampant scandals and incompetence in the Afghan War, but Field Marshall Trump’s loyal following – the 39.5% so-called Republican base – will say “so what?”

So what’s the big deal if the Big Gonif is practicing bait and switch with his promise to end our stupid wars?

The Republican Party –the Party of Lincoln, the Car, the Tunnel and the idiots who don’t even believe he is lying when he lies – has become the party of So What? Or Whatever?

So what if he missed hearing some very fine people in Charlottesville who were chanting, “Jews will not replace us” and “Blood and soil.”

So what if some folks on both sides were carrying second amendment assault weapons as they gave the “Seig, Heil!” salute outside the synagogue.

So what if some of his best friends are neo-Nazis, white segregationists, and un-American?

So what if he flip-flops on health care, moving from a campaign promise of insurance for everyone to being okay with throwing 23 million under the bus with the new unimproved Affordable Care bill?

So what if there was collusion with the Russians without which the election of a minority president wouldn‘t have been possible?

So what if there is obstruction of justice?

So what if the president and his avaricious family have conflicts of interest up the kazoo?

So what if he talks the North Koreans into launching a nuke strike against Guam?

So what if our big fat total nut case destroys the world? The next one might be better.

And as the very fine people in der Field Marshal Trump’s whermacht would say if they read this drivel, “so what.”

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Marvin Kitman
August 23, 2017

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers. His other books include “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.). Google them.