Marvin Kitman —the publisher, editor, writer, and, of course, executive producer of “The Marvin Kitman Show” (Est. 1969)— has been in the shop for repairs. The doctors say he is now good to go for another 100,000 miles. His ironical chronicles, the sporadicals, which appear from time to time, pillars of rectitude, columns of veracity, providing beacons of light, intellectual stimulation, perspicacity and good cheer returns to the airwaves today. He will be sharing with you compromising information on behalf of the Russian government.
Welcome Back, Mr. Pundit of the Year
I have waited six months to render judgment.
Give the man time to get the hang of the job. I can now say the following with certitude:
Donald Trump is a failure in the job of president.
He doesn’t think so.
He is a great success. He told us that himself. As he was saying the other day, his administration is even better than FDR’s.
But he is also a well-known liar. Anything he says has to pass the sodium pentothal credibility test, based on the mathematical formulation, i.e., any time he opens his mouth, he is lying. Not to be taken with a grain of salt, but a whole salt mine in Siberia!
Let’s face it, the headhunters—the minority of the people and the Electoral College boobs—made the wrong hire.
Despite his youth, high spirits, charm and incredible stupidity, the famed real estate developer and world’s greatest businessman and deal-maker, a man who gets things done does not appear to be qualified for the position.
The job is too big for his shoes, if not his ego. It is now overblown enough to qualify for a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
As impressed as the search committee was by the man’s low morals, deep greed, and shallow perspectives, they made the mistake of putting him in a job above his pay-grade
He would have been more qualified to serve as our ambassador to Russia. Given such jobs often go to rich businessmen, and with his broromance with Putin- –one of the great love stories, straight out of a 19th century Tolstoy novel—it would have made us even closer with our friends, the Russian Commie kleptocrats.
The man is not intellectually fit to serve as the chief executive of the greatest power in the world. He has two major weaknesses as a policy-maker: domestic and foreign affairs. He also is totally ignorant about our history and laws, and arrogantly proud of it.
A smooth talker who, as it has been said, could sell refrigerators to the Eskimos, he was promoted to his next level of incompetence promising voters pie in the sky. As the leftist Joe Hill sang of an earlier Republican administration:
You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (that’s a lie)
And that was before the Wrong Man for the Job swore on a stack of real estate development sales proposals to the coal miners of West Virginia and Ohio and the blue collar Reagan Democrats of the Rust Belt that he, and he alone, would open new coal mines and stop outsourcing factory jobs, so help us God.
We have given him and his Republican party the House, the Senate, the Supreme Court, the Oval Office with the freedom to fill his cabinet with as many generals and billionaires as he likes, some of whom head departments despite their record of being against what they are supposed to be regulating (Stand down, Rick Perry of Energy, Doc Carson of HUD, and the most conflicted of all, the EPA’s Scott Pruitt, Mister Big Oil).
And still, whatever Captain America Great says on his Twitter page, nothing seems to be getting done.
I don’t know if the man knows how to govern. Nobody in the White House seems to know.
There are still 400 vacancies in top jobs in all departments— because he never made appointments. People are hanging out around the water coolers, waiting for something to happen.
He seems to be more interested in getting angry on his Twitter feed, and firing people or complaining about the media, which is making him seem like the Mister Magoo of American politics.
All presidents, starting with John Adams, have had to face the slings and arrows and mud; it goes with the job, according to the Bill of Rights. But they never had to face “fake news,” perpetrated by warped fact-checkers and obsessed truth-seekers finding evidence of lies, an art form in his administration. He has so far told 3,568, according to one count.
As I was saying, nothing is getting done, except for the writing of a few new regulations, liberating industries to foul the air, dirty the drinking water, screw the workers and the middle class, something greedy corporations needed no encouragement from the White House.
Where was his plan for Health Care Repeal and Reform, promised on Day One? He probably didn’t even get to read the House bill, which he supported, until someone on Fox News told him it was “too mean.”
And where was a workable tax plan? That should have been done by February 1, at the latest, making sure the rich get richer. A no-brainer.
The billion-dollar Infrastructure plan? Everybody is in favor of our bridges not falling down.
How was he going to provide more jobs for coal miners, even though coal is becoming the whale oil of the future?
I looked forward to hearing his lies about how he was going to make America great again.
Nada. Zip. Bubkus. Borscht. Nothing was coming out of the Trump administration’s first year, the time when signature legislation traditionally gets done.
It finally hit me like The Triumphal March in Act II of Giuseppe Verdi’s “Aida.”
The Emperor had no plans, no programs, no legislation in mind, as most candidates might.
He never schooled himself in how to govern should he win, my epiphany went. He didn’t do his homework. What for? Everybody knew he was going to lose. The fake media told us that.
If the unbelievable happened, it was going to be like the business world. He’d run the country like his other real estate developments, renamed Trump USA.
All he has to do now is vamp until 2024. And then he’ll be able to take a long vacation, play a lot of golf, and read all about himself in the history books as the worse (or is it worst?) president since Harding or even James Buchanan. So sad.
July 19, 2017