Donald the Red-Nosed President-Elect (Is Trump A Communist?)

Alphonse and Gaston by Frederick Burr Opper, 1906

“You First, My Dear” – Alphonse and Gaston by Frederick Burr Opper, The New York Journal, 1906

As entertaining as the Alphonse & Gaston routine (“After you, Alphonse….No, you first, my dear Gaston!") the leaders of the two most powerful nations in the world are performing in the exchange of spies, election hacking, and expanding the totally insane nuke race issues, questions are raised which have been keeping me awake at night. I should explain I am one of those pathetic worry warts who turn on the TV first thing in the morning to see if there still is a world out there; if not, I can just turn over and go back to sleep.

These days I especially have a bizarre worry about our president-elect being a member of a mutual admiration society. It’s as if he and V. Putin, as he calls him on his Twitter account, went to the same Talmud Torah Hebrew School in Queens as kids.

If the president-elect ever holds a press conference again, the first question I would ask:

Does the man who finished second in the hearts of the majority of voters even know that his good friend, V. Putin, is a communist?

And the follow-up: Is the minority president-elect familiar with the communists’ great game plan since the days of Uncle Joe Stalin?

While we know he had read the speeches of Hitler—he had kept a collection of “Hitler’s Greatest Speeches” by his bedside, one of his many wives told “Vanity Fair—and employed some of the same rhetorical propaganda tactics Der Fuhrer used so successfully, especially the power of lies as a communication tool, and his campaign rallies could have been staged by Leni Riefenstahl, but has he ever read Marx, Lenin or Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s “The Gulag Archipelago?”

Forgive the leap into the unknown here, but my guess is he has not read Marx & Engels’ best-seller. Or even the Classics Illustrated Comics version of “The Communist Manifesto.” A Marxist Plot to him might mean a Groucho movie.

I strongly doubt he is familiar with the Marxist–Leninists predictions that capitalism will whither away. He and his children’s empires will fall to the wayside.

I hate to be the one to tell the president-elect his best bud is the leader of the gang that since the end of World War II has been out to make us road kill.

Now I appreciate he’s not much of a reader, except for his own Twitter remarks. The media studies his 3 AM commentaries as if they are scholars of the missing Dead Sea Scrolls.

He’s not a fan of computer books, or even the computer and emails, either. As he explained in a New Year’s pronuncimento, if you have anything important to say, use couriers.

Cue the carrier pigeons. Also useful in the new administration might be Aldis lamps, semaphores, and smoke signals. It was the Pony Express, after all, that once made America great. One wonders if the president-elect owns stock in FedEx or DHL.

Based on close reading of the official presidential record--the Twitter writings-- and the post-election concert tour lack of policy detail, with mathematical certainty, I can say the man is a total ignoramus. He is behind the curve on a lot of things we come to expect of a next president.

And it doesn’t matter to him.

He is convinced the struggle with our archenemy for the last half-century is about negotiations. Making deals. And he is a great negotiator and dealmaker. Very smart, as he’s explained. Isn’t he the putative author of the “Art of the Deal?”

The coming battle of the two oligarchs, we are led to believe, will be the most exciting thing since “King Kong vs. Godzilla.”

What I worry about is if our guy in the fight is so smart and such a great dealmaker why was he $968 million in debt, according to his last IRS tax filing (1996)? Why has he amassed four bankruptcies, nine failing business with the magic of his name attached, and 1,231 lawsuits pending in the courts before the election? He should be a case study at the Alfred E. Neuman School of Economics at Trump U.

Now I’m not saying that a man who may go down in presidential history as Donald the Red is a communist. I will leave it to the next House Un-American Activities Committee, sure to be revived by the Republican Congressional leadership, to ask: Are you now or have you ever been a card- carrying member of the Communist party? He will have the right to take the Fifth Amendment, of course, if he hasn’t abolished the Bill of Rights by executive order in his first 100 days.

At this step of the presidential investigation, at the worse, he sounds like a fellow traveler.

I cannot similarly vouch for at least one member of the president-elect’s cabinet. Comrade Tillerson, who represents the People’s Republic of Exxon Mobil in the projected cabinet, is the new secretary of state who will be dealing with Russia. Tillerson is a holder of Russia’s highest honor, Hero of the Soviet Union the Order of Friendship for his work brokering oil deals with fellow oil oligarchs. Tovarich Tillerson will be the president-elect’s left-hand man in bringing V. Putin to his knees, making him cry Uncle Joe or whatever “have mercy” is in Cyrillic.

I don’t know about you, but I would be able to sleep better at night if Donald the Red at his inauguration would be required to take along with the usual oath of office a Loyalty Oath.

(To be continued)


Marvin Kitman
Jan. 3, 2017

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers. His other books include “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.). Google them.