A NATIONAL EMERGENCY IS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY IS A NATIONAL EMERGENCY
Our president is taking a lot of abuse for his courageous act of declaring a national emergency on the Southern border.
His best friends—except for Vlad the Poisoner and the fellow oligarchs in the kleptocratic wing of the Politburo who think he is the best thing to happen to Russia since the invention of vodka — are less than thrilled with his conduct in the current crisis. “It’s an invasion,” as the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet sees the influx of Central American rapists, murderers, criminals, drug lords, not to mention leaf blowers, kitchen helpers, fruit and vegetable field pickers and others willing to do jobs real Americans don’t want to do anymore.
I’m talking about the members of the far right lunatic fringe of the punditocracy, the Fifth Columnists who are now stabbing the president in the mouth, folks like Laura, Coulter, Rush, Hannity, Tucker, and all his friends at “Fox & Friends” who see his conduct at the border more of a crisis than the constitutional crisis others see his exercise of presidential prerogative.
Like the heroes of the Alamo, Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie and John Wayne, the president will be remembered by his base as the hero of the Second Mexican-American War of 2015-19. Not so by the loony birds in the bleachers of cable and talk radio.
“Caver” is the good thing these other unsung enemies of the people have said about those glorious 35 days in the trenches the president spent without playing golf or taking his usual equal time vacation from the Oval Office duties.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that Ann Coulter— a pro bono adviser, who the president said he rarely talks to in his Rose Garden National Emergency Address of 2019—had called the big beautiful wall of the president’s dreams “a monstrosity!”
A premature critical ejaculation since it hasn’t even been built yet, and won’t be for a while. Remember, it took 2,500 years for that other famous wall in China to be finished completely in 1635.
“The only National Emergency,” motormouth Coulter said on KABC Radio in Los Angeles that day that will live in her infamy (Feb. 15, 2019), “is that our president is an idiot.”
Yes, but those who treat our chief executive like Rodney Dangerfield of presidential politics may forget he is our idiot, the man we the minority of the people elected to make decisions like what constitutes a national emergency.
I tell you, the best president we have gets no respect! After all he has done to make America great again — in only 771 days!
Apparently, our idiot-in-chief sees declaring national emergencies as a perk of office, like flying to Bedminster, N.J. for a golfing weekend, only 212 miles from the Oval Office, as crows and Air Force One fly.
A national emergency, we are learning, is something a president can do for whatever reason, even when the “emergency” is self-created.
Well, it is some country, indeed, when a president can’t utilize the Outrageous Abuse of Powers codicil to the Unwritten Constitution —The Trumpian Doctrine, as future historian might name it — as a WMD (weapon of mass distraction) just because he is, say, not getting his way with other branches of government.
What this means: If the Wicked Witch of the West, Horrible Nancy (Pelosi) had given him the money to build his wall, there wouldn’t have been a “national emergency.”
Previously, just for the record, “national emergency” meant real emergencies like the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
I will leave it to constitutional scholars to decide if all of this is good or bad for democracy. What I’m concerned about today is clarifying my position on the wall, unclear in these first 32 episodes of “ The Trumponicles,” the official record of this interesting period of history.
I would agree that a wall be erected along the border. The ENTIRE border, including in front of Mar–a-Largo and all the other expensive oceanfront properties in Florida, California and up the coasts to Sea Island Kiawah Island and Clint Eastwood’s Carmel, EVERYWHERE.
In short, I am pro-wall freak, a believer in the theories of Prof. Andrew Fisher IV, a leading wallologist at the New Jersey Institute of Applied Advance Sciences. Dr. Fisher especially advocates a wall in Manhattan, one tall enough to protect those hideous spike-like apartment towers where the empty flats are all owned by Chinese, Russian, and Arab trillionaires.
Such a wall also would be advantageous to residents of New Jersey who think the West Side Trump Towers mar the view from the bucolic Sopranos state.
The big mistake, Prof. Dr. Fisher argues, in the case of Democrats in 2020, is trying to respond to the idiot-in-chief’s insanity with sanity. It just doesn’t work.
Feb. 16, 2019