Due to lack of space, and forgetfulness, rather than denial, in my bungling attempt to find just the right word to describe our last presidential choice—the nominations included moron, imbecile, idiot—I omitted he is also a cretin. I apologize to all my cretin readers. It’s not often one of their own reaches the pinnacle of the highest office in the land.
AMERIKA HELD HOSTAGE: DAY 693
The Sophomore Jinx
For those who thought they saw everything in the first two years of our rookie president’s debut as the leader of the free world (2016-2018), well, they were wrong.
Even I was shaken by the really strange behavior of our POTUS as he began his second lap around the track (2018-2020). The dreaded Sophomore Jinx must have hit him.
Future historians will hypothesize many causes for the activities more associated with the loony bin than the Oval Office. My theory is that it has been a delayed reaction to having lost the latest “People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive” contest. Idris Elba won the 2018 award, beating out Donald Trump, as well as the usual Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Richard Gere, Johnny Depp hunks.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, there was our boy’s not winning the Nobel Prize (in Literature) for the second year in a row, and his not being “able to imagine anybody other than Trump winning” the Time Magazine “Person of the Year” award, as he complained on Twitter, even before the envelope was opened. There is just so much disrespect a president can take without snapping.
But he may yet qualify for the “Albert Schweitzer Humanitarian of the Year” trophy, if he keeps up gassing the Caravan immigrants at the Trump Memorial Wall on the southern border. Caravan
I began noticing something really weird was taking place in the evolution of the chief executive by his performance the morning after Election Day (Nov. 7).
El Presidente credited himself with leading his party to a “tremendous victory” in the 2018 midterm elections, even though Democrats took control of the House of Representatives, a result that the fake news has widely read as a protest against the president.
Once again the base—that 34.9% of We the People who the president claims would still vote for him even if he shot somebody on Fifth Avenue with an AR-15 assault weapon with a bump stock—were challenged. What do they believe: what their messiah says or their own eyes?
I’m checking my notes here for the correct answer.
It was painful enough that the Trump Party took a shellacking, but el Jefe saw the victory lap as a chance to single out losing GOP candidates for further humiliation.
“Mia Love gave me no love,” he told reporters at the morning-after press conference about a candidate who hadn’t embraced him sufficiently, “and she lost. Too bad. Sorry about that, Mia.”
The weird thing, he was rubbing salt in the wounds, four days before the final results were in!
Then he insulted the nation’s war dead, flying to France for the Armistice 100th anniversary, before taking a rain check on “the wreath-laying thing” at the cemetery with our Belleau Wood Battle heroes. Medical authorities in the pundit’s rank blamed the cock-up on the rain, possibly affecting the bone spur, for which he was awarded the distinguished 4-F medal in the Vietnam War. (My sources say he still can’t remember which foot).
While the fires raged in California, he blamed the forest management people, and threatened to withhold federal relief money. He then went the extra mile and blamed residents for not raking their property.
The most bewildering conduct in the line of duty was his defense of his buddy, the friend of democracy, Prince Mohammed bin Salman, widely accused of complicity in the murder of the Washington Post columnist. Our president, who is not exactly a John Peter Zenger in his defense of press freedom, used the revolving door technique in dealing with the diplomatic problem: the famous “Maybe he did it; maybe he didn’t” defense.
Every day the moral leader of the Free World seemed to change his position. By now, he may be denying he even knows MbS.
He means well, it could be argued, as in the case of his dropping in on the Squirrel Hill synagogue massacre crime scene.
The mayor of Pittsburgh begged him not to come; there wasn’t enough police for security. 11 Shivas were taking place. A presidential visit would be disruptive and disrespectful, religious and community leaders argued.
But the presidential puddle-jumper campaign plane was gassed up, and he didn’t want to disappoint his fans at the campaign rallies that night.
As one of the mourners put it, “Only a schmuck wouldn’t have known it was inappropriate to barge in.”
A bell rang! That’s the word I was looking for.
You should know schmuck is a German word for a jewel. There are distinguished Americans with that surname. Peter Schmuck was a judge in the New York Supreme Court when I was growing up. Peter Schmuck today is an excellent sports columnist at the Baltimore Sun.
Schmuck should not be confused with putz or the even more fearful yutz.
With all due respect, the President is a true schmuck.
First schmuck sounds just about right.
Nov. 27, 2018