America’s Idiot or Moron?

Erstwhile Sec'y of State Rex Tillerson and White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly Debate

There is a debate going on these days between those who support the Rex Tillerson theory that the president is a moron and Gen. Kelly reportedly calling him “an idiot.”

At the time, the former Secretary of State from Exxon Mobil would neither confirm nor deny using that analytic for the president’s intellectual capacity. He might have called him a Mormon,” confusing him with a former presidential candidate, a state of befuddlement induced by his innumerable flights to former Soviet Republics, as if delivering royalty checks for oil leasing deals while still with Exxon. Blame jet lag, if you will.

Gen. Kelly’s use of the I-word, as reported in the irresponsible press, in a derogatory meaning of the term, risked defaming a segment of the population, a sizeable constituency. There is one in every village, sometimes two or even more.

This is not to say all the people who voted for him in 2016, and the 34.9% in the base who still don’t believe or care about the fake news media revelations, are idiots. Some of them are morons, with a sprinkling of imbeciles in the mix.

Whatever.

As the battle of words was summarized by Mika on the president’s second favorite news show, “The Morning Donald,” (5/1/18) on MSNBC: “One man’s moron is another man’s idiot.”

I’m a non-combatant in the etymological warfare, which raises questions above my pay grade. For example, on Chris Cuomo’s “New Day” (CNN) the morning of 5/2/18, a lawyer was calling the president “an absolute moron,” while another lawyer used the pejorative “total moron.”

Now if they were calling him the ever-popular stupid fuck, widely used in my circle of unpatriotic subversive citizens— Those are fighting words where I come from!

Pea brain. Chowderhead, lame brain, dumb cluck, dead from the head up and, especially, blithering idiot, I would feel competent to weigh in.

As a TV critic for 35 years at Newsday, I feel I know something about pure idiocy or even impure. They don’t call America’s favorite form of entertainment and news the “idiot box” for nothing.

(See me after class to know how I voted)

Suffice it to say, the mental capacity of a president was never considered worthy of definition by the founding fathers. Not a single one of the 85 “Federalist Papers,” written by Publius (aka Hamilton, Madison and Jay) trying to think of everything that possibly could go wrong, deals with the potential danger of the brand-new nation falling into the hands of a miscreant with a golden comb-over and an IQ in the low two numbers.

Enough of these scholarly ruminations caused by the dumfounding arrival of a new player in the comedy or tragedy that is the Trump administration.

I am talking about Rudy Giuliani’s anointment as a member of the president’s crack legal team (Just for the record, I’m not suggesting that any of the barristers are on drugs, even if it sometimes seems that way).

America’s Mayor! America’s failed Republican presidential candidate! America’s not worthy Attorney General, despite his being the greatest Federal prosecutor since Chris Christie! He arrived on the scene this week like the 7th Cavalry coming to POTUS rescue as he is surrounded by native Americans (Democrats and other un-Americans) after his scalp!

Il Rudy, as we called him back when he was making pronuncimentos from the balcony in City Hall with a jutting jaw and a pointing finger that was enough to make the subway trains run on time is now taking time off from his other jobs to serve as the designated brain for the president.

Most of us have lost track of Rudy’s legal work as he accumulates a fortune advising mostly undemocratic foreign governments, while still having time to do pro bono work as the Diogenes scouring the sidewalks of New York with a lantern trying to find an honest man working for Trump. Lots of luck.

Right out of the idiot box, the new tough guy on the Trump collection of the few lawyers still willing to serve a client who may not pay their bills, was boffo, as they say in legal showbiz, in his premiere performance this week on the Trump official organ, “Fox & Fiends.”

Diogenes Giuliani may have gotten religion since disappearing from the morning news circuit. Like a born again bible-thumper, the new improved, less insane Rudy was adhering to the Good Book passage that says the truth will set you free. Saint Rudy knocked our sox off with two revelations.

First, he was admitting for the president that his client had an affair with the adult film star, Stormy Daniels. As late as April 5, the brainless president was denying that he even knew the alleged lying extortionist.

And not only that, the presidential truthsayer explained the reason his fixer was paying this person he didn’t even know in the biblical sense of the word hush money…

He was only doing it to save his marriage!

There have been many comic moments in the sittragedy that is the First Philanderer’s administration. But this one had me falling off the couch, laughing hysterically, and rolling underneath where I am writing this transmission.

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Marvin Kitman,
May 3, 2018
 

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.