DISCLAIMER WARNING: In the interest of full disclosure, the author of this piece of Pulitzer Prize-worthy journalism is the chairman of the draft “STORMY 4 PRESIDENT in 2020,”a non-partisan citizens spontaneous organization engineering the draft movement.

The Day The Real Donald Trump, The Lover, Stood Up

Fox and Friends' recent telephone interview with Our Fakakta President™

Stormy Daniels surely was shocked, shocked, she would add as Inspector Louie was to learn that gambling went on at the night club in Casablanca, or as Rick was to discover there were no waters in the desert, which led him to say, “I was misinformed.”

Stormy, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, must have been misinformed about the man she knew as David Dennison— according to the legal document she is contesting in court which for $130,000 forbade her to discuss details of a relationship made in heaven or Vegas—but who turned out to be Donald Trump, whose real name is Donald Trump.

She may have thought it was Donald Trump. The man she spent that memorable night with in 2006 could have won a “Donald Trump Look-a-Like Contest.”

If only she had asked to see his driver’s license. The last four numbers of his Social Security. Checked him out on the Official No- Fly List, or any other way confirming his true identity!

The moment of truth in the Case of the Two Donald Trumps occurred in an impromptu press conference last week (April 25, 2018) the president held on “Fox & Friends,” the fourth branch of government (Est. 2017).

POTUS delighted his favorite hosts— the three blind mice of cable network journalism – by phoning in what wasn’t so much a traditional press conference as a rant. It was as if the Leader of the Free World (LFW) took time off from his important work of tweeting to stretch out on a psychiatrist’s couch and free associate like crazy.

Breaking the cone of silence which had characterized his dealings with “Fox& Best Friends,” for about 30 minutes he let his gut— his brain still reportedly missing (See If He Only Had a Brain, “The Trumponicles,” 4/8/18)— tell him to go where no president had gone before. No collusion. No obstruction of Justice. Best cabinet in history. Fake news. Women lying about alleged affairs. The usual.

You could see the alarm bells going off in the eyes of hosts, Steve Doocy, Brian Killmede, and Ainsley Earhardt. The interview was turning out to be an experience like trying to take a drink of water from a fire hydrant opened during a New York summer.

They tried to remind him he might have other more pressing business in the Oval Office, hoping to limit what even his Fox Friends could see would be damaging. It was straight ahead on red for the President.

The words were barely out of his mouth, when reportedly a call from the boss, Rupert Murdoch, told the control room to end the “Fox & Enemies” segment. Nevertheless, the guest will win a drama Emmy in the role of a president.

Among the most dangerous things during cable news’ shining half hour was the president suddenly talking about “the crazy Stormy Daniels deal,” that “tiny, tiny thing” his fixer-in-chief Michael Cohen was negotiating for him.

It was unclear whether he was saying Stormy or the deal was crazy. Still it was enough to give the few remaining lawyers on his legal team a heart attack.

For the first time—let me check my notes here—the Commander-in-Chief was acknowledging that his Roy Cohn was trying to silence the adult film star from exercising her first amendment rights.

For a night with this balding fat bozo who wanted to be spanked with a copy of a magazine with his picture on the cover? $130,000? What was she thinking?

Why, that was pocket money for a rich man. Had she sold herself short?

The implosion on “Fox & Enemies” raised a host of questions. Inquiring minds like mine want to know:

  1. Could he have forgotten the night with America’s most serious porn star, something any red-blooded patriotic American film cineaste would give his VIP pass to the next Tribeca Film Festival, two draft choices, and a player to be named later.
  2. Why was Cohen paying the money out of his own home mortgage line of credit? Did Candidate Trump have the shorts, as Damon Runyon’s characters used to call the cash flow problem.

    He said he was so rich. That’s why we should elect him. So smart, he didn’t pay taxes. The only actual evidence of his financial condition was the one page of an old IRS form that seemed to indicate he was $893 million in debt. Is it any wonder no North American bank would lend money to a man with four bankruptcies and nine failing brand name business to his name?
  3. Was his being so rich just another one of his lies?
  4. Was the reason he was running for public office because of the business opportunities it opened up for the old man and his kids?
  5. Was his real message in the Inaugural Address of 2017, ask not what you can do for your country, but what the country can do for me and the kids?

Who is really playing the fool here anyway— the clown-in-chief Trumpster or We the people?

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Marvin Kitman,
April 29, 2018
 

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.