Artificial Stupidity


We all know he is not your typical president.

A loyal, red-blooded, patriotic American, he is being smeared by socialists in Washington who think the Democrats won the election in 2016, just because they got 2,874,689 more votes.

He believes Ukrainians hacked our sacred election process, not the Russians, a fact confirmed by an objective authority, V. Putin.

The FBI is “human scum,” he has explained. He doesn’t trust any of our 16 major intelligence agencies.

He has accused politicians like Sleazy Sneaky Shifty Schiff and Horrible Nancy Pelosi of being corrupt. Every politician is corrupt, in his opinion, except the man who could be the most venal in American history.

Everybody is lying, with the possible exception of himself. He lies more often than other people brush their teeth in the morning, according to the senator from MSNBC, Claire McCaskill.

He doesn’t have any clear foreign policies, except he’s pro-Russian.

But what makes him stand out from other corrupt, lying unpredictable presidents is his greatest achievement. No. 45 is the most stupid president of all time.

Without malice, and with all due respect, I use the term “stupid” in the best sense of the word.

I’m not talking about your average person-in-the-street kind of stupidity, but a special abysmal, ridiculously over the top, dangerous, transcendental stupidity that could get the planet blown up.

Being stupid of any kind is not an impeachable crime. President Dumbo’s stupidity is not even a pejorative in the land of Gulliblesylvania, a democratic country ruled by 34.9 % of the people, a minority better known as “the base.” The Always Trumpers know stupidity when they see it. That’s what they like about No. 45.

He has made stupidity great again.

His accomplishment in the field of highest-level stupidity are regularly seen and admired by his 40 million followers on Twitter, often several times a day. Many also see him being quintessentially stupid in inaudible press conferences on the South Lawn, drowned out by the roar of Marine One. You sometimes need the ears of a dog to hear his stupid remarks, fortunately repeated by the Official Hearing Aids, “Fox & Friends” in the morning and “Hannity” by night.

What makes all of this work for No. 45 is that he has a special gift. He is a beneficiary of Artificial Stupidity.

Everybody has heard of Artificial Intelligence or A.I., even though many of us are not quite sure what it is or why it‘s important.

Less is known about Artificial Stupidity, or A.S. The latest development in human mental growth, it’s what experts call seriously stupid.

The president is too stupid to get anything from Artificial Intelligence, but it’s as if he was born understanding how Artificial Stupidity works.

No database has yet been created for A.S. Such a data base, would codify all stupid ideas, concepts, initiatives, changes of mind and other things those blessed with A.S. know in their gut, where decisions are often made by the seriously stupid, such wisdom often confused with gas on the stomach.

While we wait for software to be invented to help us understand it, an early example of A.S. was the inexperienced, unqualified, ignorant businessman in-over-his-head Mister President going into a two hour closed door meeting with the most duplicitous, cunning, untrustworthy best friend among fellow tyrants, V. Putin in Helsinki, without intelligence briefings or advisers.

If anyone doubted the efficacy of A.S., there is his performance in the Ukrainian thing, that “utterly discredited, long debunked far left smear,” as the impeachment hearing are described by Stephanie Grisham, current holder of the Sarah Huckabee Sanders chair of honest journalism in the White House press department.

Thanks to Artificial Stupidity, Mr. Trump saw his asking “for a little favor” from a foreign leader to dig up some mud to throw at a political opponent as an act of fighting corruption, rather than the Trumpster version of a mob boss conducting a shake down.

Not resting on his laurels, the anti- corruption crusader is now imploring his camp followers at rallies to READ THE TRANSCRIPTS.

This assumes they can read. Furthermore, it seems to suggest the A.S.-impaired president doesn’t seem to realize “the perfect beautiful phone call” incriminates rather than exonerates.

A further sign a person with full-blown A.S. Still can’t get over it, as his chief quid pro quo scholar in the White House Mulvaney recommended briefly, POTUS is even suggesting he plans to read the transcripts on his coming fireside chats, as America’s Real Mayor (Fiorello La Guardia) read the comics during newspaper strikes during his childhood in the Big Mango.

For this and other stupid acts too numerous to mention here, including intimidating a witness with one of those stupid tweets during the second day of the I-hearings, another impeachable offense, it’s easy to see why the First Doofus deservedly has been nominated as the 2019 poster boy for A.S.

NEXT: The Making of a War Hero


Marvin Kitman,
Nov. 17, 2019

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history. His next book, “Gullible's Travels, A Comical History of the Trump Era,” coming from Seven Stories Press May 5, 2020, is now available for pre-order.