The Making of an Extremist 2013

I have decided to join the Tea Party.

What I like about them is they never seem to lose. Whatever debacle, whatever disaster, no matter how low their favorable poll ratings nationally, they emerge winners. Not only in their own minds, but in the echo chamber media, which these days seem to be the true voice of the people. Fox Populi, as they say.

In the latest fight, Obama stood his ground, like George Zimmerman. Still we lefties have the sense of not winning, watching the can being kicked down the road, waiting for the next Tea Party self-inflicted defeat turned into self-declared victory, even as they get carried off the battlefield on their own shields.

Look at that clown, the junior senator from Texas, the star in the satirical production of “Mr. Cruz Goes to Washington,” the most laughable character in the house of mirth called Congress.

He gets a standing ovation when he goes home this past weekend. Media critics argue whether it was an 8-minute standing O or only 7- minutes. Despite his being in disrepute, a traitor who openly advocates overthrowing the government, Cruzader Rabbit gets a 75% approval rating back home on the range.

By all rights, Tea Party insurrectionists should have wound up in irons, waiting for trial under the Smith Act. Clearly, the Attorney General is under the delusion that the Kate Smith Act did not apply. The Fat Lady had not sung.

It’s another heads we win; tails we win situation for the Tea Party. I want to live in that alternative reality for a change.

What I don’t like is the Tea Party’s young fogey leadership. They shouldn’t be putting up with those compromising, capitulating, lily-livered establishment honchos of the GOP. The total humiliation! Surrendering to Obama the Tyrant! For what--Just to save the nation’s credit rating, give the progressives a chance to overspend money we don’t have?

Our party is too moderate.

You call that a shutdown? Some 800K furloughed, an unexpected vacation. Time to put up those storm windows. Closed down a few national parks and monuments. Is that so bad?

Air controllers were still working. Now that would be impact.

Forget Obamacare. Why aren’t we demanding the elimination of those three government departments altogether? (What were they?) Why aren’t we selling off all the national parks and monuments, those money-suckers, or at least selling the naming rights to private business? Why aren’t we in favor of ending the IRS corporate tax audit department and go after the lazy low income misfits who aren’t paying enough taxes? Especially those scroungers on relief.

And why are we swallowing that biggest waste of taxpayer dollars, the food stamp program. And let’s take another look at Swift’s “Modest Proposal,” which would help solve the problem of all those starving children--there are just too many of them, We need to increase farm subsidies to agrifarm producers (they make jobsjobsjobs, don’t they?) and cut out food stamps entirely, which should reduce the obesity problem.

All of this may sound extreme. Remember the words of Barry Goldwater, the last serious candidate in the mainstream of Republicanism:

“Extremism in the pursuit of vice is a virtue.” Or whatever he said. It was a long time ago.

In conclusion, I would like to say, for those who may be puzzled by this decision, it is based on the old American principle, enunciated by the patriot general, Benedict Arnold, “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

Some will say this is just an attempt of joining the TP movement to bore from within.

Others will say I am just being a bore writing about politics again. Why don’t I pay attention to something really important? What did I really think of the final episode of “The Walking Dead?”

Your thoughts?

Marvin Kitman
Oct. 22, 2013

The writer is a Lincoln Republican who ran for President in 1964. He lost.