Gaius Plinius Secundus, better known as Pliny the Elder, interrupts his writing of the official history of “The Manchurian President” to explain to his nephew Pliny the Younger, by favor of the Gods, WTF is going on.


Pliny vs. Trump

Pliny vs. Trump

Pliny the Younger asks:

How is it possible, O Wise One, for our commander-in-chief, one of the greats, to try to sabotage the health system? So what if 7 million or 23 million lose their insurance coverage, many of who were the people who voted for him?

So what if he scraps the Iran deal?

So what if he questions the right of newspapers to do their job by reporting the news?

So what if he is considering taking away the TV license from a network, even though they aren’t licensed?

So what if he says he doesn’t believe in the first amendment, and thinks the second could be improved by guaranteeing the right of citizens to bear sub-machines guns in public?

So what if he is continuing to treat American citizens of our Puerto Rico as residents of a third world country?

So what if he is blowing holes in any international agreement on trade or protection of clean air and water he can find?

So what if he is castrating our Secretary of State who is empowered to keep talking until the bombs start dropping, as diplomacy is now defined.

So what if he goads the silly little fat boy into dropping a nuke on LA, as if they didn’t have enough trouble with the Weinstein affair?

How, O Wise One, can our commander-in-chief, one of the greats of all time, in his opinion, do all those bad things in a day or two last week, while attending to his more important job of getting angry on Twitter and firing people?

Pray tell, O Wise One, has our president, the best one we have, gone off his rocker? Did he snap finally this past week?

Pliny the Elder replies:

I can understand your concern, kid. As I was saying to Tacitus, or maybe it was Cicero, it’s no more Mister Nice Guy for Emperor Donald the Hairy One.

True, he’s showing signs of insanity, calling his tax reform “a middle class bill.”

He is acting like a bull in a China or Korea shop, like a spoiled brat having a tantrum because he didn’t get to replace and repeal Obamacare, or get money from either Mexico or Congress to build the wall to nowhere on the border.

As they say in the garment center, there seems to be a pattern here in doing all these bad thing no president in his right mind would be doing. It goes deeper.

What you and others of your ilk don’t understand: The real problem is the president never wanted to be president when he grew up.

In the beginning, he thought running for president would be, as they call it in showbiz, a caper, research for the next volume of his autobiography, which Dick Cavett said was to be titled “My Kampf.” Or maybe a screen play for a movie. A horror movie.

The premise for the bit: could a totally inexperienced, unqualified, stupid individual run for president?

He never dreamed he would win the nomination, no less the presidency. That’s why he seems to be vamping now until the joke is over in 2020.

Unlike many of his predecessors in the Oval Office, he did not come to the seat of power with a head filled with ideas how to actually fix what was broken. He didn’t have a new deal, a square deal or a real deal to make America great again beyond wearing the hat.

It wasn’t as if he was one of those conservative Republicans who would save the country from creeping socialism like Social Security or Medicare.

He wasn’t even a Republican. “He’s a nothing,” as Joe Scarborough called him (“Morning Joe,” Oct. 16, 2017) on what would be the first thing to go when the Bill of Rights is reduced by Executive order on the grounds of its being too wordy for the attention span deficit era.

So don’t be surprised by further bizarre behavior from our commander-in-chief, one of the best, in coming weeks, like provoking a nuclear war. So what if it destroys the planet? He has insurance on his golf courses and hotels.

Those Twitter notes—-his presidential state of the union addresses— are the equivalent of fortune cookie messages, but not as profound, being thrown out the window: “Help, I’m a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory called the White House.”

He is not a madman so much as a real estate goniff who believes his own real estate development brochures. All the bad things he is now doing or threatening are desperate cries for help. Stop me before I do something really stupid! he seems to be saying.

In short, he is looking for an exit strategy to get himself out of the mess the Russians and the minority of voters got him into.

All he wants to do now is become a respected ex-president like Bill Clinton.

If only he could fire himself.



Marvin Kitman (aka Pliny the Elder)
October 16, 2017

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers. His other books include “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.). Google them.