Gaius Plinius Secundus, better known as Pliny the Elder, in another thrilling letter, has been explaining to Pliny the Younger, and members of his generation WTF is going on in the last years of American civilization, such as it is.
I tell you, kids, this is a great time to be alive, like experiencing the Age of Jackson in person. It’s absolutely sick, which I’m told is a new modern generational word for “cool,’ “fabulous.” So great.
Here we have a self-proclaimed populist billionaire, so rich, except he is up to his hairline in debt, who was elected by a coalition of blue-collar workers and an autocratic Russian government that is out to destroy us.
Never before had we a national leader so totally inexperienced, so unqualified, a minority president who rose to power despite crooked Hillary getting three million more votes from undocumented illegals. So true. He said so himself. So lacking in other evidence.
He was a president who never completed a sentence, who never spoke a second sentence that developed the opening thought, and a third sentence that repeated the first sentence. And asked us to believe him! Would he lie to us? So sad.
We have a president who thinks he is the Second Coming. Of course, they all do. Except for Ronald Reagan.
He thought he was in a movie. His agent told him, you play president. An eight-year shoot. No residuals. Only three locations: a little white house on the hill, a Camp David, a ranch in California. Every morning they hand him a new script. “Is this right, Nancy?”
But that’s all ancient history.
We have a new president today who psychologically still doesn’t believe he is President. He is still campaigning, going to rallies where he says things like “On Day One, I will repeal and replace Obamacare.” So disastrous. So disgusting.
Now he doesn’t seem to understand why everybody isn’t cheering his every dumb statement. Why aren’t they chanting “lock’em up” at Congress?
Why did they give him such a health care bill as his first act?
Why hadn’t anybody told him health care was so complicated?
Why were they expecting him to actually read the bill before endorsing it? Don’t they know the only thing he reads is Breitbart and other journals of record that praise him?
He doesn’t want to let his day job ruin keeping up at night with what his kids are doing running the other family businesses. Tempus fugit (time flees). And is he supposed to neglect his duties making news or cable TV networks by tweeting?
Why were they having him push a bill which guarantees the blue collar working class folks in West Virginia, Ohio and Michigan will die, or go bankrupt, whichever is worse, the first time a major illness strikes.
Why didn’t anybody tell him the real enemies of the people were the insurance companies that were raising premiums in the Affordable Care Act, and staying out of markets so there wouldn’t be the competition that would make the free market work.
So he got schlonged on Day One with Ryancare, as he called it.
It was stupid not to start off his victory parade with taxes. Any fool knows the Republican Party stands for cutting taxes for the rich. That is, if you need to pay taxes. It’s smarter not to pay them, as he explained during the debates.
So it wasn’t his fault that his administration is 0-1. It was the Democrats fault. Speaker Ryan’s fault. The Republican Party was disloyal. Nothing will be his fault as the years go by.
What the folks will have to realize over the years is that he will be taking credit for everything good that happens. People forget he is a New York real estate developer. Whether he had anything to do with a development or not, it’s a success on his reel.
All I can say now is it is it’s a good thing the president is a teetotaler. Can you imagine what he will claim to have done if he knocked back a martooni or two before he sits down at his Twitter machine at 3 in the morning?
I feel sorry for my old friends, the politics junkies who are otherwise engaged. Too bad they are dead and are missing what’s happening now. They’d have loved it.
Marvin Kitman (aka Pliny the Elder)
March 28, 2017