U.S. and French flags line the graves at the Suresnes American Cemetery in a Memorial Day ceremony, May 29, 2016. Photo by Senior Master Sgt. Brian Bahret, USAF

I was far ahead of its time when I wrote about the event the day after the 100th anniversary (November 11, 2018) and it was widely ignored. President It Is What It Is was just being true to himself and not the nation’s war heroes by stiffing the dead Marines in Aisne-Marne American Cemetery.

Given all the controversy swirling around Pres. Bone Spurs dissing of our fallen heroes, the Marines who perished in the Battle of Belleau Wood, allegedly because of the inclement weather and he was having a bad hair day, my column of yesteryear has suddenly become timely.

I’ve been told that it deserves a Pulitzer Prize in the Speculative Journalism category. Well, that’s not for me to say. I can only offer up my entry, I mean column, for its insights into the question of did he or didn't he say, "I'd rather be 4F than President.”

For those who have the book, “Gullible’s Travels,” I call your attention to Pages 221-3. For others, this is what you’re missing:

12. Armistice Cemetery Non-Visit

Somebody should explain to the more than two thousand Americans buried in the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery, at the foot of the hill where the Battle of Belleau Wood took place, some fifty miles outside of Paris, why their current commander-in-chief was MIA in the commemoration of the hundredth anniversary of the end of your war the other day (Nov.11, 2018).

Something funny happened to him on the way to the cemetery.

It was raining.

Some Trumpologists opined the foul weather might have mussed his hair. The moisture makes it so frizzy; a “do” can be absolutely unruly in the rain.

What a golden opportunity it would have been for the President to express the dignity and majesty of the office of the most powerful nation in the world by wearing one of his MAGA hats to protect him from the elements.

Medical authorities were of the opinion the damp weather also may have affected his bone spur condition for which he was awarded the distinguished 4-F medal in the Vietnam War.

But you should understand it wasn’t his fault the game was called because of rain.

The White House apologies secretary blamed the Marines who didn’t want to fly a chopper in foul weather, although they had been known to do so on battlefields and in enemy fire.

You, The Fallen, who had gone over the top, come rain or shine might well ask, couldn’t our President Snowflake get an Uber or Lyft driver to get him to the cemetery? The leaders of France and Germany and many others who were in Paris to mark the end of World War I came by the highway.

That would be demeaning. He had to arrive by chopper. That is what American Exceptionalism means. Pulling up in a car would have lowered our standing in the free world, unlike all the other things our first potentate has been doing by attacking our friends and allies in NATO, threatening to break their legs if they didn’t cough up more dough-re-me in keeping the world safe from its enemies, like the Russian commies who are our best friends now.

You don’t understand that? Our brave dead could not know POTUS is involved in a bromance with Super Czar Vladimir the Great that will live in the annals of diplomatic fiction.

Neither rain, nor snow, nor the gloom of night, could have stopped the president from showing up, we bet, if it was a campaign rally at Aisne-Marne.

The problem is you guys don’t vote.

While it is said the dead always vote in Cook County (Illinois) or Hudson County (New Jersey), your country is rife with election fraud today.

It was bad enough that at most only 65% of the people— in a hot election year— exercise the franchise you fought and died for. Our first prevaricator keeps seeing three million illegals voting against him —even before an election takes place. He is what we used to call a sore winner.

Nobody likes to speak ill of the brain dead, but there are a few other things you should know about our President of Some of the People All the Time.

He doesn’t know squat about World War I, or even World War II. The Cold War hasn’t crossed his radar screen yet. As Winston Churchill and other wise men have said, “We ignore history at the peril of its being repeated.”

Our Leader of the Free World is treating the rise of nationalism like it’s a beauty contest, a geopolitical Miss Universe. He doesn’t care who wins as long as he owns the franchise.

Should we forgive him for blowing off this day to honor you for making the ultimate sacrifice?

Look, he probably thought it was just another photo-op, the old carrying-the-100th-anniversary-wreath- thing. He has no knowledge that yours was the war to end all wars, as President. Wilson explained, while promising during the campaign of 1916 to not get us involved in European wars. That’s politics.

The Wilsonian experiment might give pause to a president whose latest foreign policy adviser (Mr. Bolton) thinks the solution to any issue is going to war.

Yes, peace is hell for some of us, and, yes, it was a time of misery and misfortune for those who were otherwise detained, and couldn’t join the people dancing in the streets of Paris at 11 AM on that November 11, 1917.

If only the battles could have been cancelled by rain.

Long after this controversy about why the president didn’t come to pay his respects, such as they were, to You the Fallen is forgotten, may you still rest in peace!

Thank you for your service.

⚘ ⚘ ⚘

The commander in chief, of course, denies he ever even thought those disgraceful, disgusting things about our service members who answered the call to duty in time of war, as reported in The Atlantic last week. The sneak attack on his patriotism was enough to make him order a second round of McDonald’s fries.

True, he might have implied that Lt. John McCain was a klutz for getting shot down. Spending five years in the Hanoi Hilton wasn’t a smart career move. But only suckers and losers can believe the whole kerfuffle about his love today for the patriots who might die for their country isn’t a hoax, a scam, another part of the witch hunt.

If you can believe a man who can’t tell the truth without getting a rash! Otherwise, as they used to say, tell it to the Marines!


Marvin Kitman
September 8, 2020  

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history. His next book, “Gullible's Travels, A Comical History of the Trump Era,” out now from Seven Stories Press. Order your copy today.