GOP Convention Stage

The performance of the Democratic Party nominee selected last week at the first virtual presidential convention reminded me of another historical figure in a time of multiple wartime crises.

Like Winston Churchill, considered something of a clown with his bungling at Gallipoli and being a dissident in the Chamberlain Cabinet which promised peace in our time, Sleepy Joe Biden, with his speech defects and so-called mental acuity problems, still managed to knock one out of the park with his acceptance speech.

His “We will fight them on the beaches” speech inspired confidence that we can beat the bug, make the economy even better, actually fix the infrastructure, and diminish social injustice in these dark days fighting a war on three fronts.

While it wasn’t William Jennings Bryan’s “Cross of Gold” speech in the 1896 convention, it was far above the low bar the Trumpista volunteer media brain trust on Fox established for that old doddering mentally-challenged joke of a candidate who was conducting a McKinley-style front porch campaign from his basement while on a walker.

Who will President Four More Years remind us of when he takes the stage in the four night mostly virtual Republican convention that opens tonight?

Some might say Mussolini. It’s the hands, gesticulating wildly as if sending messages to a minder on another planet. The jutting jaw is reminiscent of Il Duce predicting victory in the Abyssinian War, Ethiopian spears against the Fascisti war machine.

Or Hitler? There is a certain similarity in the lack of empathy, his promises to make Germany great again, his friendship with the Deutsche Bank and the IG Farbens of Amerika, and his self confidence in that only he can do it, whatever it is. The story of his first term in office, my sources say, will be the highlight of his next book, “My Kampf.”

Or Agent Orange, the first American president to trust the words of Vlad the Poisoner over his own intelligence community! Should the man without whom the Trump presidency might not have been possible be available to deliver a few brief remarks before his Republican Party tovariches, he would steal the show.

I say the Republican nominee in election 2020 will remind me of Donald J. Trump.

There is only one The Donald. The Maker threw away the model after She made a chief executive who was first in lying, first in unfamiliarity with the Constitution, first in profiting from public service, first in seeing 175,000 fellow citizens die of a virus he could have lessened and say “It is what it is.”

As a pundit, I will go further and predict that the acceptance speech on Day Four by President It Is What It Is will be filled with lies.

He will promise to make America great again by building the wall on the southern border.

He will promise to stamp out all the hoaxes, scams and witch hunts the far left out of touch radical anarchists and violent Democrats have perpetrated to steal the rigged election of 2016, which he won with three million votes short of a majority.

Will there be lots of Democrats speaking for the president, just as Republican notables like Kasich of Ohio, Whitman of New Jersey, and Gen. Powell of City College shamed themselves by revealing their true beliefs. RINOS are traitors.

Testimonials can be expected from Southern Democrats, Dixiecrats, who have reason to thank the Republican Party’s presumptive nominee as being the best president the Confederacy has had since Jeff Davis. You can bet your Confederate war bonds the South will rise again with this president’s support.

Will there be diversity, the hallmark of the Democrats four nights of glory? A-List White Nationalists, some of those fine people in the ranks of civic groups like the KKK spouting anti-Semitic tropes at the Battle of Chancellorsville stand ready to be heard.

Newly empowered totally insane groups like the president’s latest favorite, QAnon, will get their chance to misinform the nation about the pizza pedophiles in government.

Will there be impassioned speeches in defense of the Constitution? We can expect good words at least for the second amendment that guarantees the rights of patriots to bear Stinger missiles in defense of their liberty.

The freedom to not wear masks, it might be argued, is protected by the Bill of Rights, just as we have the right to stick a fork into an electric outlet.

No TV appearance by the president is complete without a surprising newsmaking announcement. I would expect something gutsy, like the president announcing he has decided to pardon that latest member of The Gang That Couldn’t Loot Straight to be charged or found guilty by the far left witch hunters.

Let’s hear it for the great American wall builder, Steve Bannon!

But why go on with these predictions that only prove that it is not for naught I am known as Cassandra Nostradamus Kitman (or as they like to call me “Cassa Nostra” for short).

Out of morbid curiosity, if you will, I will be watching anyway the Party of Lincoln, the car, the tunnel and the man whose own sister, the judge, called a man without principles, if you ever doubted it. Let the show of shows go on so we can see Russia’s favorite son candidate try to pull his cojones out of the fires he has ignited in his latest MAHA (Make America Hate Again) campaign.


Marvin Kitman
August 24, 2020

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history. His next book, “Gullible's Travels, A Comical History of the Trump Era,” out now from Seven Stories Press. Order your copy today.