President Trump saluting the Confederate Battle Flag

Shoot if you must, this old orange head, but spare the Stars and Bars, he said.

The president’s early warnings, delivered on Twitter and other reliable sources of information, such as his campaign rallies and early morning interviews on “Fox & Friends,” usually informed patriotic Americans of what we should be worried about.

It was especially alarming, while watching his monumental Independence Day Address in front of four other iconic presidents at Mount Rushmore, to learn that our streets are being invaded by leftist agitators, looters, statue-topplers, Confederate flag-burners and other anti-second termer threats to all we hold dear as Americans.

He knows about the threats to our democracy without the traditional intelligence briefings. He doesn’t do briefings. He is omniscient.

The warnings at the yearly celebration of the nation’s birthday, which may have turned the granite gray heads of the Fab Four (see me after class, if you don’t known their names) white, enthralled the brave thousands of Trump enthusiasts who came to the Bad Lands of South Dakota to hear in person his most solemn monotonian reading of the Tele Prompter portrayal of America the Not So Beautiful.

It takes courage or stupidity to attend one of the oratorical concerts on the president’s 2020 victory tour, starring the maskless president, following the safe social distancing of six inches, in his Jonesboro-like mass suicide of the Republican Party, as we know it.

In case anyone doubted it, the July 3 speech was hailed by the official judges of all things Trumpian— the Fab Four at Fox News (Tucker, Hannity, Laura and a fourth player to be named later) hailed the speech as even better than Lincoln’s Gettysburg remarks, written on the back of an envelope.

It went down so well, the Wake Up, America call to Arms was repeated on July 4 in the nation’s capital, whose streets had been taken over by the vicious mob, anarchists, left wing fascists and people who want to change the names of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians.

His warnings became even direr the third day of the glorious July Fourth Weekend when he pledged allegiance to the flag of the Confederate States of America, and paid homage to their war heroes, the ten lucky enough traitors to have their names in perpetuity attached to Damn Yankee military bases.

He was especially rough on the statue-busters, the vandals who were tearing down monuments honoring Southern businessmen, the Kings of Cotton who had the genius, before “The Unpleasantness,” as the war was later called, to protect their right to make fortunes despite a little thing like slavery.

And, finally, in a weekend that will clinch him the coveted Racist Man of the Year Award, he found time to attack left wing organizations, like NASCAR, for banning the Mississippi state flag on their sacred racetrack.

It was all enough to make you whistle “Dixie,” as they used to say when predicting the south would rise again.

The best president the South has had since Jefferson Davis wouldn’t have surprised me if he came out of the closet as a Civil War denier. There were some good people in the South, as in the KKK. Or heading the ticket of a new party called the Dixiecrats for the 2024 campaign, in the unlikely event of Boss Putin not delivering the votes o n Nov. 3.

By the end of the weekend, I found myself wondering who would believe all the baloney coming out of Bubba Trump’s mouth?

I mean, other than the Fab Fatheads at Fox News and the 34.9 % of the people, a minority better known as “the base.”

The Misleader of the Nation has a known record of lying every time his mouth is open. Why aren’t we recognizing all of this patriotic blather about the enemies of the people exercising their constitutional right to assemble and express their opinion in the streets is just a distraction from the public health crisis exacerbated by his bungling of the Trump Flu, which the greatest wartime president in history already claimed to have beaten and made to cry Uncle Sam last spring?

Isn’t there some miracle drug we can all take to protect us from the threat of being deluded by presidential lying in time of real emergency?



Marvin Kitman
July 10, 2020

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history. His next book, “Gullible's Travels, A Comical History of the Trump Era,” out now from Seven Stories Press. Order your copy today.