President Trump thanks Governor Christie for stopping by.

“Thanks again for for stopping by Chris. Always great to see you.”

“For the record,” the President’s Official Tweet declared, “there were many, MANY people who wanted to be White House Chief of Staff.” At the beginning of the week (Dec. 10, 2018) there were 10 to 12. By the end, it was five.

Among those on the short list mentioned in the fake news media was The Fat One, as the former governor of New Jersey is still fondly known. I was asked as the world’s leading authority (see “The Christie Chronicles” first 56 episodes, accessible at marvinkitman.com) what did I make of all that? Could it be true?

Well, there were those who say, “Yes, he was at the bottom of the barrel.”

Not true, others say. There was the pizza delivery boy.

Whatever, Chris Christie being on the list might have been evidence of desperation?

So many of the names reportedly on the list were saying, “Nyet, thank you” to the plum job offer.

What did I do, they seemed to be asking themselves, to deserve a sentence in hell, with the White House being turned into a nut house in the process of making USA (United States Asylum) great again?

It was absolutely insane for a president to call in his worthy opposition, Chuck & Nancy, and have an embarrassing fight on TV over what he calls My Wall, what every real American wants! …My Shutting Down the Country… My Whatever… What was this—a family food fight on “The Jerry Springer Show”?

To understand the job search process, you should know Individual-1, to use his legal name, besides building fantasy walls, his favorite hobby is making lists for job openings, of which there will be many, as the rats either jump from office or are pushed overboard before they are indicted. The many, MANY names are thrown against the wall to see what sticks.

Feeding the news cycle, Individual-1’s job as he sees it, is like feeding schools of fish. The fake news media are the fish that go after a piece of bread or any other morsel dropped in the water.

Whenever there is a pause in coverage of Him and his often insane Tweets, he will drop another piece of bread in the water, and then the news cycle starts: the breaking news of an event that is made to seem like the coming down of the tablets from the mountain, the panels discussing the meaning…

Our Big Guy’s name was at most a crumb, but the fake news media swallowed it hook, line, and worm.

In full transparency, and to show his dedication to a free press, His Heaviness courageously sat down with the TV news to be the first to say “Fuggedaboutit.” Not interested.

If he was actually on such a list, the only reason is that Jared was away from the office. He was too busy solving the Middle East Crisis, getting the Chinese to invest in his family’s real estate properties, holding the hand of his fellow crown prince, MbS the Killer.

Chris Christie is persona non grata in the Kushner wing of the White House, ever since His Corpulence as the United States Attorney in Newark nailed Father Kushner for corruption. In the opinion of the Kushner family, Christie should be like the old injunction: “He should turn into a chandelier, hang by day and burn by night.”

It would not have been a good career move for Gov. Wide Load to accept the job, anyway, even if offered. It wouldn’t have lasted long.

The first time POTUS was making a fool of Himself, demeaning the office of the presidency and the Nation, and Christie, such as is his way, said, “Shut up, and sit down”—they would be looking for a new Chief of Staff. Cue the pizza delivery boy.

For those who are wondering about the governor’s next step career-wise, my sources say, it will be a tenured faculty post at Monmouth University, renamed Mammoth University in his honor. It is the Beach Chair of Vacation Studies.



Marvin Kitman
Dec. 16, 2018

Marvin Kitman’s next book is “Chris Christie’s Expense Account.”

Public Domain Photo of the George Washington Bridge by National Park Service Photographer Jack E. Boucher from Wikimedia Commons.