Why Is Chris Christie in New Hampshire?
A power broker speaks up
People are wondering why I suddenly have stopped writing about my favorite non–candidate in the 2016 race for the roses. Is it because I have lost hope about Gov. Christie getting the Republican nomination?
What’s to be down about?
True, his ratings have fallen somewhat. He is now seemingly ranked in favorability polls below Donald Trump’s hairpiece.
True, the Christie money has fled.
True, he may be considered, as Megyn Kelly wondered on Fox News the other night, a risk to the Republican Party because of the Bridgegate scandal. As the governor pointed out in the widely promoted interview, the Feds did not indict him.
Not that indictment hurts a candidate in today’s political climate. Rick Perry is already far ahead in the indictment race, honored in 2014. In all fairness, it has been said the DA could get a ham sandwich indicted by a Texas Grand Jury.
Actually, I’ve never been more confident about the governor’s prospects.
Look, if we can back up a bit, what makes anybody think my man is a candidate? His enemies will say it was first mentioned he was running in the Bible (see Revelations, 19:11-21).
Then why is he in New Hampshire this week?
To inspect the bridges. He is doing a traffic study to determine if wooden bridges affect commuter travel in rush hours.
As you know, the neighboring state of New Hampshire is also our sister state. It shares the same first name as New Jersey.
As an unbiased observer of the campaign, from my position as head of the original “’Christie for President” (established 2010) political club, I believe his strategy as a non-candidate has been brilliant.
So far the 2016 campaign reminds me of a scenario for a remake of “Snow White (Hillary) and the Seven Dwarfs (Preachy, Oily, Mealy-Mouthed, Sleepy, Sneezy, Smarmy, Sleazy and Dopey, played by Jeb Bush).
By playing the presidential candidate–in-waiting card, the governor has avoided what happened to Jeb. Once considered his most serious rival for the moderate vote –the lunatic wing of the Republican Party that still believes it is the party of Lincoln or even Teddy Roosevelt), Jeb gave an Oscar-winning performance as the befuddled dope on where he stood on Iraq. He didn’t seem to remember his own brother had caused the Iraq War.
Our man would have told that Nevada University scholar to shut up and go back to her sorority mixer.
As a non-candidate, our man has the freedom to speak out on subjects, many of which he knows nothing about. He learned all about the Middle East, for example, by partying in the desert with the Sheik of Araby. That didn’t stop him from telling the folks in his newly adopted state of New Hampshire that he believes America should be the world’s policeman. A little scary, perhaps, when we can’t even control crime on the streets of Paterson.
I also was struck by his speech to the people of our trading partners in New Hampshire on social security reform. He fearlessly proclaimed the need to increase the age for eligibility, even though the sentiment back home is to lower the age. A lot of people I know in the Garden of Eden State would like to start collecting at 35, especially those who still haven’t been able to share in the promised economic boon caused by Christie’s double elections. The state has recovered only 60 percent of the 258,000 jobs lost from the recession. Yet another example of New Jersey Exceptionalism is a 6.5 percent unemployment rate, one full point higher than the national average--if you’re petty enough to play the numbers game.
“It’s time for us to get to work,” Gov. Christie told his adopted people in a major policy address in Portsmouth last week, “and to find our greatness. The world is waiting and together we can lead it forward.”
It was a stirring call to arms, and unlimited deployments, especially from a man who isn’t even running for the highest office in the land.
The governor’s winning strategy, should he eventually decide to run, is not to peak too early.
Not even the announcement that Gov. Pataki of New York will be entering the race on May 24 will panic our man.
I remain so confident at this point in time, nevertheless, I am now changing our organization name to “Christie for Vice President in 2016.”
He would balance the ticket, provided the party picks the thinnest of the seven dwarfs as its nominee.
This slight modification in the club’s mission, I can say as a leading power broker in the state, fits in neatly with our goal to do anything to get Chris Christie out of the state before it’s too late. Our bridges are falling down. Our transportation fund is nearly bankrupt. Our casino industry is on its last legs. Our bond rating has been revised down eight times. It’s time we shared our good fortune with the rest of the nation.
May 20, 2015