I agree with Gov. Christie it‘s nobody’s fookin’ business, as he might put it, if he happens to be a Dallas Cowboy fan.

Accusations of disloyalty to New Jersey flooded the Twitter Universe earlier this week.

Pictures of him sitting in the personal box of the Dallas team owner were rubbing Texas Pete Hot Sauce in the wound.

According to the angry comments about this supposed Cowboygate, the crime was cause for impeachment. Any minute the Twitter Nation would be marching on Drumthwacket with flaming torches, buckets of tar and feather and a rail.

Without meaning any disrespect, but are the Tweethearts nuts?

First of all it’s a free country—at least in New Jersey. One of our four basic freedoms is the right to root for any NFL team, along with the freedom to use colorful language, and the right to move to Florida because of high property and other taxes.

I myself have been rooting for the Steelers since emigrating to the Garden State in 1958 without being ordered to go back to where I came from (Pittsburgh).

The Constitution here guarantees the right of the governor even to root for Green Bay and wear a block of cheese on his head and freeze his nookie off at Packer Stadium every week, if he so desires.

I didn’t mind, either, his hugging of the football players in that orange sweater. I can understand the affection. He has a natural affinity for men built like refrigerators. There but for the grace of friends like George Bush and lack of talent, goeth His Rotundity!

For Christie’s sake, why are they bugging the man with this loyalty nonsense, especially when he has so many other things on his mind at his day job, which is running for president? Like the Hamlet of Trenton, he has been pacing the ramparts for weeks exploring his options.

Any day now, the Prince of New Jersey will be doing a “Jeb Bush” and going to Facebook to announce he is officially finished the debate, is now “exploring a bid,” and throwing open the vault for donations from PACs and other concerned millionaires. You can hear the cash register ring in Jebtown.

If I didn’t know better, the questioning of our governor’s loyalty could be part of a dirty tricks campaign designed to harass the Christie for President movement even before it starts.

Who would stoop so low? Well, the Jeb Bush campaign for one.

With the flip of a Facebook switch, as the New York Times reported, “Mr. Bush disclosed the formation of a full-time political apparatus that can begin raising money…and laid out a campaign rationale that was striking for its emphasis on big, knotty, bipartisan concepts like immigration overhaul and income inequality.” With his million or so “likes,” the ex-Florida governor has already moved an inch or two closer to the GOP nod in 2016.

Christie is the biggest obstacle to Bush LXIII getting the nomination. Both candidates appeal to the same moderate faction of the party. It is as if Bush operatives stole the Christie playbook as the alternative candidate. So the more harpoons they can stick into the Great White Whale of American politics’ soft underbody before he slides into the troubled waters of a presidential race, the more we can expect more ridiculous ad homonem attacks.

The lowest of the low tactics is to question the loyalty of a man who is the poster boy for New Jersey at its finest. Whatever his shortcomings, an attempt to make the governor seem like a traitor to his own people is scurrilous and contemptible.

Regular readers know I’m not above finding fault with the governor. Mercedes-Benz, for example, has just announced moving its flagship operation to Georgia, the latest blow to a staggering economy since the recession. New Jersey’s unemployment rate fell to 6.4% in November, still higher than the national rate of 5.8%. And just as we celebrate the first anniversary of the Fort Lee GWB scandal, Jersey City is crying foul about the Christie machine playing hardball. Not to mention, the U.S. Attorney wants to talk to him about what he knew and when.

Still it makes one wonder what exactly is Christie being accused of being disloyal to?

Our two so-called local football teams? A bunch of carpetbaggers, émigrés from a neighboring state that couldn’t bother to meet their needs, dumping them into the swamps, as we used to call The Meadowlands!

I would be more impressed about the governor if he had the balls to man up to those alien DP managements.

It’s an outrage they are being allowed to still call themselves the New York Giants and the New York Jets since sponging on our economy since 1976.

With all the taxpayer money we spend for the roads, security and other costs in the upkeep of that Taj Mahal in the swamps, I keep asking myself since these professionals began taking advantage of our generosity:

What’s the matter, are they ashamed to be geographically correct? After all these years, why aren’t they known as the Jersey Giants and the Jersey Jets?

If these vagabonds can’t stand the ignominy of being associated with their benefactors and place of origin, the governor would be right to say, “Get the hell off our swamps.”

I am a moderate on this issue. I’d be happy if the governor abused his power and made a test case of only one nomenclature correction. The Jersey Giants sounds right. As for the so-called New York Jets, let them move to Vermont, which still doesn’t have an NFL team it can call its own. Who gives a flying fuck about the Jets anyway?


Marvin Kitman
January 9, 2015

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.

CC Creative Commons licensed photo “Opening Kickoff” by Flickr user John Tornow. Some Rights Reserved.