Where Is It Written That a Porn Star Can’t Grow Up to be President?

President Daniels behind the podium in the White House Press Room.

A few days ago, I had my first scoop of the 2020 presidential campaign.

As reported here exclusively, a non-partisan citizens committee had been established to draft a dark horse candidate. The “Stormy 4 President in 2020” movement story was based on reporting from a usually reliably informed source, quoting my own column. (See “In God We Trust, But Stormy Passed a Lie Detector Test,” A Marvin Kitman Show Election Special, 3/24/18).

The leading adult film star’s potential candidacy was enhanced by her appearance on “60 Minutes” last Sunday (3/26/18), tantamount to a political rally, attended by 22 million, the prestigious CBS News magazine show’s largest audience in more than a decade. It was HUGE, bigger than huge, hugely, bigly big, as the president the wordsmith would put it.

Such is the American people’s interest in the law, and curiosity about what our commander- in- chief might do in between tweets.

A porn star versus the Leader of the Free World (LFW), a man who apparently was not only cheating on his wife, but two mistresses, a liar, a crooked bank manipulator, a real estate swindler, who doesn’t pay his workers, which may be the reason he is having trouble finding lawyers to represent him--What a guy!

The plot of the morality farce of the season pitted a woman who needed to get a few things off her chest about a relationship against a man who Evangelical Christians and others in the base support regardless of a life of sin. As it was said, God acts in mysterious ways.

The First Philanderer’s cause was represented by legal thugs who had paid $130,000 not to have this great moment in TV history happen. It will be a thrilling chapter in his next biography, “Profiles in Courage,” the story of how an inexperienced, unqualified stupid man could run for president and win. No pardons in this case.

In the war of words, who won?

The porn star, who had the moral high ground, came across as more credible. She looked like Mother Teresa next to the First Prevaricator, who can’t seem to open his mouth for two minutes without telling a lie.

As is his way, the president denied the allegations. Sex, it is well-known, makes strange bedfellows. Did our Chief Executive forget the romantic moment described by the woman exercising her first amendment rights, fulfilling the wildest dream of any serious red- blooded American film buff?

Was a night with Stormy just another in a serial alliances perpetrated by God’s gift of being able to grope, have unprotected sex, whatever, with any woman, regardless of race, creed, profession, or party affiliation, who found him irresistible because he was a celebrity?

How could he be expected to remember all them, especially this one-nighter, the highlight of which was his asking the porn star to spank him with a copy of Forbes Magazine with his picture on the cover. One wonders what a psychiatrist or Mike Wallace would have made of this psychodrama in the life of Spanky Donald?

OK, Kitman, enough of this political wonk talk. What film buffs, donors, religious leaders and others who want to jump on the Stormy 4 President bandwagon before it’s too late want to know:

Is she a serious candidate?

In full transparency, at this time Stormy neither denies nor confirms she is a candidate, a sign of political sagacity. Everybody knows all the other candidates gang up on the front-runner.

We of the transition team engineering the draft are so confident about her availability as a candidate; we have even commissioned the campaign song. The lyrics are by Richard Lingeman, who wrote “Amerika the Beautiful,” a Top 40’s hit (with a bullet) in the Kremlin.

THE OFFICIAL STORMY FOR PRESIDENT
CAMPAIGN SONG

We're on our way.

I know why There's no sun up in Trump's sky Stormy Daniels Since him and she got together Keep raining all the time The time.

Melania Ain't no sun up in her sky Since him and Stormy been together Page Six all the time The time. Scandal all the time.

★★★

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--
Marvin Kitman,
March 28, 2018
 

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Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.