The GOP Convention Day Four: Would You Buy a Used Business with the Name of This Man on It?

Vladimir Putin carrying his buddy Donald Trump

There are those who ask why continue writing about what is already one of the great anti-climaxes in history? This is like asking Gibbon why he needed to do Vol. IV about the Roman Empire. These folks have heard more than they ever wanted to know about that man. But what about those 11 million who voted for him in the primaries? Are they chopped liver? It’s called closure, dudes.


Friends, Romans, family members, especially Melanoma …A graduate of the University of Ljubljana in her native Slovenia, whose degree in architecture is being questioned by the mean media, a third wife who says she is hurt by accusations of plagiarism. And so are her daughters, Sasha and Malia…

Fans of law & order, and reality TV, and the band of 11 million brothers and sisters who aren’t chopped liver. They may be idiots but they are not chopped liver!

My friends and fellow Republicans, I am here to tell you about the fourth day of the 2016 Republican convention, which will go down in the annals as the most boycotted by the most party leaders and icons, the culmination of a primary process with the goofiest 17 candidates in history.

Yes, my friends and readers who root for underdogs with no experience in government, we have done it. The party of Grant (U.S. Grant, as delegates chanted in 1868) and businessman of the year (1920) Warren Harding. And, yes, even the vice-presidential trainee, Richard Nixon …

The good news is that on July 21 we have nominated a man who owns the most golf courses in history...

A man who had six bankruptcies to his credit –not the three, as I mentioned previously, “you could argue for 7 or 8 by counting the companies with his name on them that went broke,” according to financial columnist, Allan Sloan, in the Washington Post, one of the rags out to get him from Day One…

A man who is a money hungry fame junkie who will do or say anything to get headlines or face time on cable TV news….

A man who was born at third base and thinks he hit a triple… triple

A man who is a liar of such magnitude, he puts ‘Lyin Ted and Crooked Hillary in the class with George Washington.

Not only was he nominated on Day Three (July 20), but also I am happy to say he accepted the honor on Day Four.

Four cheers for the new improved Law & Order Party! (With inflation, caused by the Obama and Hillary thugs who have run the economy into the ground, despite rising indices that say otherwise).

In his shining hour-- actually 70 minutes – in his much-anticipated acceptance speech the next president, as he is known in conventionese, finally told us how he is going to fix all our problems.

Looking straight into my eye on my TV set, and in a stern and ominous tone, he promised to fix everything, with the possible exception of making the trains run on time.

How would he do it?

“ I alone will fix it.” Whatever “it” might be.

So much for those carpers who complained about the lack of details.

Pedantics among us will say, “But Mister Next President, surely you must have heard by now we have had three branches of government for the last 240 years?”

History was not the strong suit of our guy.

He doesn’t seem to have gotten it that a lot of these unsolved problems had to do with the Congress controlled by our Republican Party.

We are the party that was dedicated proudly the last eight years to making sure Obama got nothing done. We were the ones who blocked the apolitical transportation bill, which would not only have brought jobs jobs jobs, but fixed our falling down bridges and potholed roads. We were the party that was dedicated to taking away food stamp money from the poor, that preferred to let people die rather than give them affordable health insurance. We were the party not only of the mega-millionaires, but the common people who were only worth one million.

None of that matters, I tell you.

There are those whiners, worry warts and other Cassandra’s of the left who say what he seems to have in his so-called mind is creating a fourth branch, called Me Alone. The buck stops here office. God Help us!

“ I alone will fix everything,” he repeated so often he seems to believe his program. It sounded like those great men of the people, Idi Amin, Francois Duvalier or Good Luck Jonathan. Some pessimists even said it sounded like an old system called fascism.

My friends, he doesn’t care what they call it. That’s because he is going to win. Win big. Its gonna be yuuge. That’s because Mexicans love him. Muslims love him.


Marvin Kitman
July 29, 2016

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers.