RIGGEDELECTIONGATE

1.

Where did the Next President-elect (in his own mind) get the idea that the election of 2016 is rigged even before voting takes place, a concept he is presenting with increasing eloquence 70 or 80 times a week as the mother of all rigged elections staggers to the finish line on Tuesday?

Well, he could have read Lincoln Steffens’ “The Shame of the Cities.”

In 1904 —that’s four years before the last time the Cubs won the World Series— McClure’s magazine sent Steffens around the country to report on how well democracy was doing. In St. Louis, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh and Chicago, among other cities, Steffens found voter fraud, rigging and corruption flourishing. It was big businessmen who corrupted city governments for their own ends, the original muckraker concluded, even before Trump. And when the reform movement was throwing out the rascals, Steffens reported, a new set of rascals (the reformers) came in.

So rigging elections, it can be argued, is a tradition of our democracy, as American as apple pie and vanilla ice cream.

But Donald doesn’t read books, other than those with his name on the cover, which convinced him he is not only a business genius with only four bankruptcies and nine failing Trump brand names but qualified to be president, as well as a great writer. In fairness, I should point out, he had discovered the principle of hiring others to do the dirty work of actually writing while he could be stiffing the workers who built his castles in the air.

2.

Trump had empirical evidence the voting system, often considered the bulwark of the American system of government, is rigged.

How else could it be, his reasoning —such as it might be coming from his hair rather than the brain, which has been missing since he threw his hairdo into the race 17 months ago — concluded?

The polls always said he was ahead. That was because the people loved him. “Believe me, I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and they would still vote for me.”

Suddenly, the last few months he is behind. Ergo, it follows the polls are rigged. By whom? The corrupt, dishonest lying media, which publicize the poll results daily, as if it is a horse race! Give me a break.

I’ll tell you where he really got the idea that the system is crooked, designed to cheat him of pre-ordained destiny to become the first inexperienced and most unqualified to sit in the Oval Office. You can see the Fatman‘s influence, the fine hand of the New Jersey Machiavelli of failed candidates at work.

3.

One of Chris Christie’s greatest achievements as governor of New Jersey is abandoning the state in its time of need. Trains crashing, bridges falling down, roads in disrepair due to a bankrupt Transportation Fund, credit ratings downgraded eight times!

With everything going wrong, he still had the courage to abandon the Augean stables of the State House in Trenton to come to the aid of his party’s beleaguered nominee.

The career of His Rotundity, as he is respectfully known at home, reached new heights when he was privileged to pick up the candidate’s dry cleaning and organize the transition, allotting cabinet posts to the children (Ivanka could not have all three portfolios she asked for, state, treasury and homeland security).

He also was the man who could be trusted to go on TV to walk back the candidate’s shameless lies and totally insane indefensible policies, like balancing the budget, while rebuilding the military when he is not even paying taxes, and proud of it. He always could be counted on to humiliate himself on TV, especially on the days when the regular apology secretary (Rudy Giuliani) was resting comfortably in the psychiatric ward at Bellevue.

4.

In the darkest days of the campaign, when the polls had become really hard to believe, stuck in low numbers, the rigging conspiracy plot was hatched.

The two natives of the same Metropolitan area —one the political neophyte, the other the hardened political warrior—dined together in the kitchens of Trump Tower, built with Chinese steel. With his being so rich, Trump was able to order-in the finest fast- foods fit for overweight politicians, served on the finest Trump dishware, made in China, and silverware, also made in China. Both are fast-food addicts.

In between courses of Wendy’s Moonlight Deals, featuring double stack burgers and other delights from the kitchen of The Freckled Lady, who hadn’t claimed to be groped; Chick-fil-A fried chicken, Burger King’s mouth-smacking bacon sundae; a selection of Subway’s fresh five foot-longs and other true value meals, Christie and Trump cooked up the conspiracy theory about the election being stolen from the only candidate who could make America great again.

5.

If anybody knew voter fraud and rigging, it was the former federal prosecutor who as the U. S. Attorney in Newark had jailed close to 100 corrupt New Jersey politicians, most of whom were Democrats.

As former Gov. Tom Kean (1982-1990) observed, when he dies he wanted to be buried in Hudson County because he’d be able to vote every Election Day.

Let me tell you about good government. During a presidential election campaign, one of the times FDR was running, Mayor Hague, the Democratic boss of Hudson County, would not send in the Jersey City tally of paper ballots until he knew what happened in the rest of the state. He then would submit a number that gave FDR a comfortable margin to gain the state’s entire electoral vote.

One year the Republicans had the audacity to question his count, and Mayor Hague had the ballot boxes impounded at the courthouse, to be counted the next morning.

A great tragedy ensued. The courthouse burned down that night. As it was said in New Jersey legal circles, shit happens.

It was considered another remarkable coincidence that Boss Hague was appointed U.S. Ambassador to Ireland for his public service.

6.

More than a scholarly knowledge about how vote rigging in the polls works is another strength His Immensity brought to the Trump campaign brain trust.

His own approval ratings in New Jersey had plunged to a new bottom. At 23%, he was making Corzine look popular. You could smell the fraud in the polling count even over the Exxon refinery effluvia aroma.

And why is Gov. Wide Load doing all of this? Is it loyalty to Trump’s non-existent principles and unformulated policies?

Smart money in the Garden State says, in case he is ever found guilty of involvement in the Bridgetgate Scandal—which he won’t since he’s not guilty— Pres. Trump can give him a pardon.

30


 

--
Marvin Kitman
Nov. 5, 2016

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers. His other books include “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.). Google them.