How Hillary Can Possibly Win The Debate

Cersei Lannister Clinton - Caricature

Woke up this morning and got me an epiphany. Don’t get them very often, so I wrote it down. The insight had to do with how to ace the Big Debate tonight.

It arrived while watching “Morning Joe” on MSNBC. Like brushing my teeth in the morning, its something I do to find out if the Republic has fallen the previous night. Then I can go back to sleep.

Mark Halperin, one of my favorite sharpshooters on the presidential beat (“In All Due Respect”) was asking Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s latest campaign manager, “how could Trump lie about Lester Holt being a Democrat? He is a registered Republican.”

A likeable professional, who is widely credited as the Svengali who managed to turn Trump from a buffoon into a buffoon with presidential stature, considered the question for a moment.

She then took the legitimate question out for a walk around the park, never quite answering it.

Halperin repeated it: “How could he lie about Holt?”

Staring straight at him in a sincere way, she took the question out for a drink at a local bar.

He repeated the same simple question.

She took it out for a shave and a haircut.

Five times, Halperin asked exactly the same question, no simplifying, refining or rephrasing, as if it was a trick question.

As she again was preparing to circumlocute her answer, putting it on a tour bus headed for the sights of the Bronx, the Q. & A. was interrupted by Joe Scarborough. As objective and unbiased as they come in cable network news, Joe stepped in, “Okay, we’ve spent five minutes on this. Let’s move on.”

As Kellyanne was figuratively wiping the sweat off her brow, I heard myself shouting, “ By Jove, I’ve got it.” (This is how I talk to myself in private). Its the game changer.

Her Crookedness, Hillary, has been prepping for the debate with a team of crack preppers, trying to figure out how to crack the armor-plating being installed by Roger Ailes to make Mr. Republican assault –proof.

Forget all the questions about his qualifications, experience, knowledge of foreign and domestic policies. Will he be using nuclear weapons in the war against poverty?

The plan should be to stick to a single issue all the people can relate to.

A lot of Americans grew up being taught not to lie. Since time immemorial mothers and fathers have been instilling in their children the value and importance of telling the truth.

George Washington never told a lie.

The truth, the Bible says, will set you free.

It’s still the best policy.

As Tommy Flanagan, or even Jon Lovitz, would say, quoting Humphrey Bogart on “Saturday Night Live” (1985-1990), “Yeah, that’s the ticket!”

By tradition, debates usually move quickly from one complex subject to another. Debates are boring, the network suits decided a long time ago. What they need is pacing. Moderators and their side-mods move like mosquitoes. Person-in-the-street interviews with email, Twitter and Facebook commentaries are thrown into the mix, leaving viewers totally confused.

Here’s the secret. Keep coming back to the same issue, regardless of the question asked. It’s the same dirty trick Trump uses.

In other words, a peroration before you get to whatever is being asked. For example, “How could you lie about…? (Fill in the blanks). It could be one of Trump’s bald-faced lies, or one with hair on it, say my favorite all-time lie- to- end all lies, the Birther classic.

An even better question was suggested by one of my above- average readers-- I only have above-average. Kate Decker’s strategy would be to ask the following simple question:

“How much money, exactly, and really and truly, do you actually have, Donald?”

At first, Trump will walk the question around the streets of East Hampton to meet the working class folks who love him.

If the same question is repeated over and over, what seems to him like a thousand times in a row, it is guaranteed to make Trump froth at the mouth and forget pages of instructions from life coach Ailes.

Although I am an objective and unbiased pundit, and will be viewing the debate tonight in a fair and balanced way, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want Tommy Flanagan, Jon Lovitz or any other pathological liar as my president.

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Marvin Kitman
Sept. 26, 2016

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789”, HarperCollins, and in paperback, Grove Press, available at Amazon and quality book-sellers. His other books include “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman, PFC (Ret.). Google them.