U.S. and French flags line the graves at the Suresnes American Cemetery in a Memorial Day ceremony, May 29, 2016. Photo by Senior Master Sgt. Brian Bahret, USAF

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Cemetery

We of the Justaminutemen organization want to explain to the more than two thousand Americans buried in the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery, at the foot of the hill where the Battle of Belleau Wood took place, some fifty miles outside of Paris, why their current commander-in-chief was MIA in the commemoration of the hundredth anniversary of the end of your war the other day (Nov.11, 2018).

Something funny happened to him on the way to the cemetery.

It was raining.

Some Trumpologists opined the foul weather might have mussed his hair. The moisture makes it so frizzy; a “do” can be absolutely unruly in the rain.

What a golden opportunity it would have been for the President to express the dignity and majesty of the office of the most powerful nation in the world by wearing one of his MAGA hats to protect him from the elements.

But you should understand it wasn’t his fault the game was called because of rain.

The White House apologies secretary blamed the Marines who didn’t want to fly a chopper in foul weather, although they had been known to do so on battlefields and in enemy fire.

You, The Fallen, who had gone over the top come rain or shine might well ask, couldn’t our President Snowflake gotten an Uber or Lyft driver to get him to the cemetery? The leaders of France and Germany and many others who were in Paris to mark the end of World War I came by the highway.

That would be demeaning. He had to arrive by chopper. That is what American Exceptionalism means. Pulling up in a car would have lowered our standing in the free world, unlike all the other things our first potentate has been doing by attacking our friends and allies in NATO, threatening to break their legs if they didn’t cough up more dough-re-me in keeping the world safe from its enemies, like the Russian commies who are our best friends now. You don’t understand that? Our POTUS is involved in a bromance with Super Czar Vladimir the Great that will live in the annals of diplomatic fiction.

Neither rain, nor snow, nor the gloom of night, could have stopped the president from showing up, we bet, if it was a campaign rally at Aisne-Marne.

The problem is you guys don’t vote.

While it is said, only the dead vote in Cook County (Illinois) or Hudson County (New Jersey), the country is rife with election fraud today.

It was bad enough that only 65% of the people-- in a hot election year-- exercise the franchise you fought and died for. Our first prevaricator keeps seeing three million illegals voting against him --even before an election takes place. He is what we used to call a sore loser.

Nobody likes to speak ill of the living, but there are a few other things you should know about our President of Some of the People All the Time.

We have a POTUS who is totally ignorant about our history, a commander-in-chief of the greatest military power in the world who doesn’t trust his intelligence agencies or read their briefings. He knows enough about what’s going on in the world by watching Fox News.

He doesn’t know squat about World War I, or even World War II. The Cold War hasn’t crossed his radar screen yet. As Winston Churchill and other wise men have said, “We ignore history at the peril of its being repeated.”

Our Leader of the Free World is treating the rise of nationalism like it’s a beauty contest, a geopolitical Miss Universe. He doesn’t care who wins as long as he owns the franchise.

Should we forgive him for blowing off this day to honor you for making the ultimate sacrifice?

Look, he probably thought it was just another photo-op, the old carrying-the-100th-anniversary-wreath- thing. He has no knowledge that yours was the war to end all wars, as Pres. Wilson, explained, while promising during the campaign of 1916 to not get us involved in European matters. That’s politics.

The Wilsonian experiment might give pause to a president whose foreign policy adviser (Mr. Bolton) thinks the solution to any issue is going to war.

Yes, peace is hell for some of us, and, yes, it was a time of misery and misfortune for those who were otherwise detained, and couldn’t join the people dancing in the streets of Paris at 11 AM on that November 11.

If only the battles could have been cancelled by rains.

Long after this controversy about why the president didn’t come to pay his respects, such as they were, to You the Fallen is forgotten, may you still rest in peace!

We of the Justaminutemen thank you for your service.



Marvin Kitman,
November 14, 2018

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.