The System Isn’t Broken; It’s Fixed

Third in a series known collectively as The Smith Act Papers. Written by a Justaminuteman, addressing a national emergency.


In my rush to judge the conservative guerrillas currently holding the government hostage for violating the Smith Act, which makes it a Federal crime to advocate, advise, teach, encourage or otherwise aid and abet internal insurrection, I forgot to mention something in the sentencing aspect of the case. Not only should the alleged lawbreakers be remanded to Gitmo, without a trial and due process, both of which they are against on principle, but we should take away their health care benefits, furlough them for a few years, redraw the districts from whence they came, and make them watch Rachel Maddow every night. The court may find the last violates the cruel and unusual punishment clause of the Constitution, which they don’t respect.

The Smith Act should hold up here, I have been advised, because there is “specific intent” on the part of those who specifically share the Tea Party’s unlawful purposes which threaten the internal security of the United States (See Scales v. United States).

What an irony, since the Smith Act was originally designed to round up all the reds, pinks and lefties in the Red Scare era: script writers, charwoman in the Senate office building, and other dangers to our wealth and welfare. It was a time when the Commies or sympathizers were hiding under every bed, threatening to turn the country into another of the socialist republics in the USSR.

To most people in the government today, the Smith Act is a performance by Will, Jada and the kids.

In any case, legal or otherwise, these “terrorists,” as Rep. King calls the 30, 40, 60 or 70 subversives burrowed into the infrastructure of the Lower House, are Code Red dangers. Not only are they giving conservatives a bad name, they are a Trojan Horse in government, a Fifth Column in our midst, and should be dealt with the full power of the law.


The law calls for fines to be levied against those conspiring against the security of the nation. This should cause no hardship as the terrorists have access to unlimited free checking accounts, supplied by the bagmen, bankers, think tanks and missile-launchers, lobbyists, and other shadowy characters who support the take-no-prisoners strategy of right wing activists plotting to bring the nation to the brink of ruin in the debt crisis next week.

Whoever knowingly or willfully with the intent to cause the overthrow or destruction, the law reads, also should be liable for imprisonment of not more than twenty years.

But the toughest part of the punishment phase: “shall be ineligible for employment by the United States or any department or agency thereof for the next five years following conviction.”

That means the teapartyniks conceivably would be ineligible to return to the House after the next election, even if they are no longer in the can. So all advocates of good governance need do is wait for 2014.

Now here’s the Catch 2014.

If we follow the general reform principle of throwing the rascals out, we will then get a new set of rascals.

These irresponsible, callous, so-called conservative know- nothings, as everyone knows, represent gerrymandered by data and computerized districts. The culprits are heroes to their constituents, and will be even more so if they went to jail for their beliefs. The hometown folks will be building statues of them in village squares, like Civil War generals.

So the same sort of rascal will be elected again. And again. Even with their criminal records. Gov. Elbridge Gerry of Massachusetts, who had the foresight in 1812 to discover the flexibility of the electoral map, is crying “Yes-s-s-s,” and giving High Fives around the graveyard.

And so we have the thrill of despair and the agony of winning. As it has been said, the system isn’t broken; it’s fixed,

On the upside, all we have to do is get the Supreme Court to ban this un-American gerrymandering thing, make sure districts are fairly designed. Let’s all stand up and salute the objectivity and patriotism of the supposedly non-activist court.


Do the above punishments fit the crimes? No. These men are traitors, some feel, and should be shot.

Well, what should these unpatriotic subversive miscreants who are a disgrace to their country do to clear their names?

In Japan, for dishonoring themselves, their family, their country, legislators once committed hari-kari. A mass suicide, the taking of the Kool-Aid, attended by the cable news networks and talk show radio hosts who serve as the echo chamber for the Stop the Government Movement, cheering them on, would be a great media event. Perhaps that might cleanse the stain on the Republican Party escutcheon in the eyes of the American people. At least those who will remember the October 1st Putsch. Which can be repeated in six weeks or so or at will, now the teapartyniks have discovered the right switch to turn off the lights.

Yes, this is a totally insane period of history. But isn’t sanity in government an oxymoron?

Marvin Kitman
Oct. 11, 2013

Marvin Kitman is the author of “The Making of the Preƒident 1789.” “George Washington’s Expense Account” by Gen. George Washington and Marvin Kitman PFC (Ret.) was the best-selling expense account in publishing history.